Auld Lang Syne

yesterday night I found online one of my batch-mates from my old school. We have been keeping in touch through chat occasionally. Actually, I usually disappear for long durations and then when I resurface, we have a long conversation catching up with each others fast-paced lives. Yesterday we had a particularly interesting conversation recalling the good ole school times. And there was one particular incident that involved the two of us...

See, the story goes like this: We barely spoke to each other in class for the four-five years we studied together. At that time most boys and girls were still excessively shy around each other. So, while in school, I hardly knew this person. After loosing touch for 8 years, he initiated a chat with me some four years back. We had both joined a school batch mates group and came in contact again. Although I haven’t seen him in over 12 yrs, he is now a good friend.

While reminiscing about school days, I didn’t remember as many people and incidents as he did because I changed schools twice after class nine and I even moved to a new country for my A levels! He reminded me of this very embarrassing event in my school life - an event I shared with him: We both took a supplementary exam together.

These exams were held for those students who were either absent on the day of the exam or had not passed it the first time. Both of us were NOT in either of these categories. But by default everyone around would think that we failed the exam, and therefore, it was embarrassing! I, for one, was mortified. I was never the best student in class, but I was not one to fail exams either. I usually did moderately better than most. I wasn’t hardworking and diligent. I would spend all my time reading fiction, hardly bothering myself with homework! But I was not blasé enough to not care about failing or passing. It was a matter of big shame to get low marks! and failing was the pinnacle of humiliation.

Anyway, what really happened was that we both landed up at school to take the exam the day after it had already been held! I had forgotten about this episode until my friend reminded me of it yesterday! I spoke to my mom about it today and even she remembered it! And she told me that dad didn’t scold me the first time it happened (how could he? I came home red having cried my eyes out at a friends place coz I couldn’t go home directly!!). My dad chose to scold me after I came back from the supplementary. And I was mollified in retorting I wasn’t alone in this mistake! :)

It’s amazing what the mind wishes to keep stored up there. It’s been twelve years since it occurred, but I never thought I might forget this affair when it happened the first time round. It took my mother and a person whom I never thought that I’d be good friends with in future, to remind me of this small chapter in my life. It was funny remembering this stupid incident. And all this while I had not even realized it was this guy I was chatting with for 4 years who was the same guy I shared that mistake. And it’s probably the only interaction we had in school!

I was rolling on the floor laughing out loud yesterday chatting. It was nice. I haven’t laughed like this in a while. :)

Reason for a Headache

I went shopping with my cousins today. Even though I hate shopping, that's not really the reason for the most massive headache I have suffered from in a long while. I actually initiated this spree as I really was in need of stuff. Have been living minimalistically for some while now - just one pair of jeans, 2-3 shirts, and a pair of floaters!

When returning, less that 3 kms away from home, I got stuck is a massive traffic jam because the red-light at the crossing had stopped working. Of course every single one wanted to go and not stop to let anyone else pass. It resulted in the worst jam I have been in in a while. Some wise man actually came out and tried to resolve the confusion, and I wish there were awards for such pro-active citizens! I wanted to call the police but my cell phone signals disappeared. That has never happened to me before. I tried calling my dad and sis but how could I with no signal... What bewildered me most was that for the longest time there was no traffic cop in sight to resolve the mess! We have faced bomb blasts in two major cities of the country on 2 consecutive days, and 500 people have died because of terrorist attacks in the past year, and every time we are told that security is being tightened. What utter crap! What kind of security is it if a policeman is unavailable for over 20 minutes with over 500 vehicles mixed up and lined up at a major crossing??

The truth is that in a country with the 2nd largest population in the world, there is absolutely no value for life. So what if a few die, when there are more than 100 being born every minute? It is disgusting but our intelligence agencies are full of shit. Corruption is rampant and work is limited to how much can go into one;s pocket. The attitude is "Who cares anyway for something that is not benefiting me" and it is ingrained in every one of us. I mean, if people actually cared for the greater good, would there be such a jam in the first place?

Dali is awesome! So is Marquez!

Recently, I finished and turned in a 4000-word research paper on the representational similarities between Salvador Dali and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The basic point of the paper was to draw the commonalities of Surrealism in the paintings of Dali and of Magic Realism in Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude; the way in which imagination is deployed by the two in order to portrait the universal themes that cut across cultures; and the depiction/manipulation of time.

And I am still preoccupied with these great people's work.... I am reading Love in the Time of Cholera, and desperately searching for Destino, an animation project by Disney and Dali. the videos exist on YouTube but they aren't the best quality...

wrong Konnections

so yesterday a good friend and I went to see a movie. We saw Kismet Konnection. Though we really wanted to see another film more than this one, yet our urge to see any movie was stronger. The promos had seemed alright and I haven't been reading the papers these past few days so I didn't know what the critics had to say about it. It was a Hindi Bollywood film so naturally I had my doubts. But, the actor of this movie, Shahid Kapoor has blossomed into a gorgeous hunk (which means I didn't think much of him before his last film - Jab We Met) and I didn't mind ogling and drooling at him for a while ;P !!! And he did look good in this movie too. But, his looks could not save the movie as he overacted many a times.

The actress, Vidya Balan is amazingly beautiful, and photogenic, but, she didn't look that good in the movie, my friend and I discussed (since we had nothing else better to do during the movie) and came to the conclusion that she needed a better hairdo, a better bra, a gym membership and a more serious acting roles. Her hair was done in a way to make her look younger than Shahid, but she still looked older. She was made to wear bras and corset tops to make her figure look better, that failed as well. She has what Indians would call 'a heavy lower body', she isn't fat, but she looks so in western dresses. She looked gorgeous in Parineeta which was a period film, so she had worn mostly Indian clothes.

The story wasn't too great and even though there wasn't anything original about it, it could have been rendered a thousand times better. The acting, the editing and direction overall was so particularly bad that the story just could not be saved!

It was supposed to be a light, fun, romantic comedy, BUT:
the comic scenes didn't work,
there wasn't much chemistry between the two (she just looked older),
the over-acting made it a pain to watch, and
the movie was so light that it was nothing just fluff and mindlessness.

(The traditional from-my-phone-camera-photo, therefore, not the best quality...)

The most interesting part was that we went to see it at a bad movie theater. Which meant it was cheap and run-down and just really bad! We were told to keep our bags out; they had a token system storage thing at the back. We went through this shady, narrow lane to the place, only to discover it was a man sitting on bare wooden takht (which is like a low table, but in India we put a mattress and cylindrical pillows and use it as a sitting place). My friend and I had doubts, as I was carrying a laptop. We decided to put my bag into her's but upside down so that if one would open, it would take some effort to reach the comp. It wasn’t full-proof safe, but we decided to take a chance. When we went to back to it to deposit it, a policeman was also sitting in the takht. He asked if there was any laptop and I hesitatingly told him yes. Then he said we can take it in, they will just check it. All this was due to the ‘strict’ security checks at public places.

Anyhow, during the movie, when a song would start, the lower regions would start howling and whistling, but because the songs were not really sleazy, the noise just fizzled out like a bad cola. And people clapped for the most stupid things! When people go watch a movie out here, they do so to have fun. Because really, there aren’t many places the middle and lower class man can go for entertainment. There aren’t affordable places for enjoyment that also are safe for women. Either its such upper-class stuff, where I don’t fit in as I am too chilled out and happy-go-lucky a person to buy branded stuff and be all snooty page three! Or it’s the roadside “Wine and Beer” shops that cater to the low class. So where does the middle class go?

I complain about lack of fun-spots (to myself mostly), because my friends don’t really go to bars or clubs and I would not go there alone. I want to have the company of friend to have fun... And actually I don't even like bars and clubs so much, just wish there was go-carting, or ice-skating rinks, or bowling alleys, or gaming centers (with purikura and taiko drums!) or... u get my drift!

I wish there were Karaoke places here like in Japan - affordable and accessible. Most of all, I wish there was more safety for women so we could go out without having a male escort to protect us. Yesterday, I came home at quarter to eleven in the night, but I could do so only because of the Metro. And still my parents worried about how I will get back home! If there was a safe environment, maybe parents would allow their kids to go out more, and that would create a demand for more places, and having more places means that the overall standard would increase n price would decrease; and it would also allow men to see women for who they are and not merely sex objects, thereby increasing security!

effects of time

the butt-end of the affair!

so, I went and took the UGC NET again! This was the fifth time. One of my friend was saying that we get 30 goes at it. I don't think I shall be wasting time trying to reach that target!! I have become fed-up of this bi-annual pain in the ass. It so frustrating. This time, there was a question -
How many keys are there at least on the keyboard? a) 91 b)101 c)111 d)121
Yes, my future as a university lecturer depends upon whether I have sat down and counted the number of key on the keypad of the computer I am using because I have no other meaningful thing to do in life!
I am so sick of taking this stupid exam! Also, when I said "pain in the ass" I didn't just mean it figuratively. I meant it literally as well! I actually suffered from a big fat rash on my buttocks each from sitting on a tiny hard wood bench in this dilapidated school which was the exam center. They always have this exam in the worst centers and in the worst weather conditions, last Sunday of June is boiling and last Sunday of December is freezing.
If I don't clear it this time, I don't know if I have the will left in me to give it again! I did relatively better than last time I gave it. Well, I heard last time nobody we know cleared it, so there! That exam was particularly bad. Keeping my fingers crossed...

I do have a piece of good news. After I came back home, I went for a medical check-up downstairs. The Medical team of an NGO had come to our apartment building. They are trying to make people aware of making healthier lifestyle choices to combat the most commonly found illness of modern middle class of Delhi, like heart-diseases, obesity, diabetes etc. And I found out I have grown taller. I used to be 5 feet 4.5 inches tall, but now I am 5ft 5"! :) nothing to be so glad about actually.. but whatever. it made me happy for a while. Weight-wise I still need more time and effort.

counting calories...

After a really long time I ventured out to the center of the city on Tuesday to hang out with a dear friend. We went to Khan Market - apparently one of the most expensive markets in Asia. We went to Cafe Turtle, and had their famous Rs. 180 New York Lemon Cheese Cake piece. It was quite good, maybe not worth 180 bucks for some (that a lot of money for a poor student in Delhi). I know that it was too rich - not money-wise, but rich in calories for me to be having frequently.

Yes, I am becoming one of those people who start thinking about Calories and Glycemic Indexes of food items before thinking of eating them! And, and, when I reached the most happening Metro Station - ie. Rajiv Chowk, there were banners everywhere with health tips and "use the stairs to stay fit" signs. It was like the whole world is telling me, "Go join the gym for heavens!" I have actually lost some weight gained in Okinawa since coming back, but I feel I really need to do more than just yoga! See I found out that I have a blood sugar problem. It was probably due to the food (or lack of it) in Okinawa. Before going, I had a good diet composed of all food groups (excepting meat and fish) and it was great. Once in Oki, everything went haywire. When I cooked for myself at home, it was ok. But when I went out - which was a lot, I relied on rice and veggies (read - kappa maki). At school I was sometimes given a heap of rice by pitying teachers. And its not like basmati rice (ie, non sticky) I would force myself to finish it coz I hate throwing food. I ended up eating more sticky rice for one lunch than I could eat in a week at times. Many times I took a bento of instant noodles to school - clearly the worst type of food choice! Some days at restaurants, I would go hungry for real food and just have a dessert. I ended up eating more carbs, starch and sugar eventually. And my alcohol consumption there also went up tremendously! I remember being tired and grumpy and moody a lot! After an ice cream, I'd be cheerful on a sugar high like never before! David even told me bluntly to get my blood sugar tested. Wish I had done it sooner! All the signs were there, and had I known sooner, I would have made wiser and healthier food decisions in time. But, better late than never... I am now doing all these and exercising too, so I can be the healthier me that I used to be 2 years ago. Just have to go join the gym now to speed up the progress, and also, to guarantee that occasional lapse in the form of a lemon cheese cake. :)

Baby Lizards Addendum

You will never believe what more mischief these little creatures can get involved in!

Yesterday, My mom was directing a new housemaid as she cleaned the house. My mom lifted the cushioned seat of a small settee and Lo! Behold! a tiny lizard squished betwixt wood and foam. Someone must have sat down on it when it had smuggled itself within. The strangest part is how it got underneath the foam cushion in the first place as the settee has a square seat of stiff foam made with exact precision to fit the seat rendering absolutely no space for it to crawl within unless someone actually lifted the cushion and waited while it climbed into it to put the cushion back in place. Thus, when my dear mother saw it, she called me and asked if someone had brought a plastic lizard and placed it there to scare people. A prank I was guilty of when I was 15 years my junior.

(Don't I sound Victorian? It's because I am re-reading Villette with much enthusiasm!)

Thus my dear friends, beware of the baby lizard you may not even realize when you have killed these house gods! I no longer worry. Ever since one crawled up my precious guitar... I can't bother to take care not to kill them if it so happens to be written in their fates.

Baby Lizards...

They are popping out of shells; they are crawling on the floor exposing themselves to sudden death under your feet; they are pooping crapping shitting everywhere; they are hiding behind my books menacingly; and they give absolutely no warning before dropping from the ceiling and crawling in the nicely made bed you are about to sleep in.

I am trying, trying extremely hard to co-exit with these creatures. After all they are considered house gods in Okinawa and they eat the disease-spreading mosquitoes. But seriously, these tiny lizards are driving me nuts. I am not completely phobic about lizards, but I am nonetheless always surprised by their appearance and I just wish they would be invisible to me! Some years ago, one dropped on my head as I opened the door to enter the bedroom to sleep and the tiny thing got caught in my hair and I had to take a shower in the middle of the night! Two more times before lizards have fallen and crawled down me. Can anyone blame me for not liking them??

There is another big fat one that lives atop our television set. I think its a she, and a she which produced all these tiny ones. This big fat momma always jumps out when you go near the TV to switch it off. And it jumps with a plop that makes you jump out of your skin! I may be a vegetarian and an animal lover, but I hate lizards. And all creatures are cute as babies, EXCEPT LIZARDS!!!

nothing to say...

I have at least 5 entries saved in the drafts and I am unsatisfied with all of them. It seems I have nothing important or worthwhile to publish over the world wide web. can only think of selfish needs at the moment and sound utterly pathetic in doing so. a couple of days back, my mom knocked on my door saying, "your Okinawa is on TV." It was a documentary called Modern Marvels on the Discovery Channel. The episode was about the reconstruction of the new Churaumi Aquarium. I learnt some more information about my aquarium (no-one can make me stop calling it mine!!!) But more than the info, it was the memories that got recharged. I miss Okinawa so much, it breaks my heart. When will I stop missing it this much? I do deeply regret not staying on, even though I have been enjoying M. Phil. as much as it can really be 'enjoyed.' My blog is useless. It comes off as a collection of depressive grumblings of regret. Sorry folks, won't happen again!

Rain, rain, don't go away!

It's been raining heartily in Delhi for a week now and the weather has been gorgeous. Still is, actually. I am sitting without a fan spinning over my head and still getting the occasional goosebumps as the chilly winds seep into the house from open doors and windows. Its not May weather for Delhi at all, as I recall what May used to be like! Its more like March minus the chance of hailstones. The Met. Dept. had predicted heat again for this week, but today's rain has prolonged the nice weather a little more. Even though the weather is lovely and I don't really want it to change until October! I still am worried what this freakiness of nature might have in store for us. I wonder if these rains might spoil the Monsoons. I do hope not!

Go Green!

I got some plants from my mausi today! (mausi = mom's sis)

I have spent an hour with my mum potting them and repotting the old ones we had. I don't remember another time when I felt so satisfied with a project. There is something about taking care of a plant like no other. With a pet like a dog or cat, u just need to love, feed, walk and vaccinate them, besides the occassional grooming, and training. But a plant is so much different. One just can't water a plant and think, "Oh well! That's done with!" There is potting, feeding, watering, misting, light and so much more to taking care of a plant. I would say that taking care of a dog would require less of me personally than keeping a plant alive and thriving.

I have been coming up with fantastical notions of how to get some greenery around. And ever since the news headline read "Humans Have 10 More Years to Save the Earth," my grey cells have put every other thought on a hold. It was very difficult to write my research paper proposals and the last short paper for submission!

Nowadays, I am less stressed. I have only 2 long papers to give in by 15th of July, the NET on 29th of June, and that is all. Ergo, I am embarking on my green projects now. The plants look adorable right now! Photos later!

Earth Day

From time to time, in my life, I suffer from a strange depression. It has nothing to do with my personal life, in the sense that it is not about me. It relates to me, yes, but on a level beyond me. I think I must start calling it my "green" depression. It occurs because I start thinking about all that is happening in this world that is destroying our beautiful planet. I cry, and cannot stop crying, because it seems to be an unresolvable problem. This depression is really severe. Not suicidal, of course. But just imagine, I can't think of anything else right now until I get this off my chest. I have a paper day after, and I need to research 3 long paper proposals, but here I am! writing this blog posting... I don't know how I finally snap out of this mood, because the issue doesn't quite dissolve, I never forget about it... I think, I console myself with hope.

Hope is the only thing perhaps that keeps me going. I HOPE that maybe gradually we will learn to nurture and cherish the environment. That we will accomplish successfully the preservation of valuable Eco-systems of the Earth. That we will preserve the beauty and goodness of nature for future generations - and preserve it not merely on film, but in actual tangible reality. I hope that issues of environmental concern will be a priority someday for most _if not all_ of Earth's population. I hope that we will wake up before irreversible damage is done.

What depresses me most is when I think of all the poor and the recently-not-so-poor percentages of people on this planet for whom a daily hand to mouth existence excuses their slight regard for the environment. When there is no full meal to be had in a day, then why must one care to not cut a tree for fuel on a cold winter day? True, that it is the moral responsibility of those like me in more fortunate circumstances to take the lead. And yet I see educated youth like me contributing to the attitude of "I-give-a-damn-about-anything-but-frivolities" that seems to be pervading DU these days. I am not wholly pessimistic, but I am not fully optimistic either. And there does exist a middle ground. It is called hope.

I wanted to plant a tree today, to complete a 101 in 1001 goal while also commemorating Earth Day. But I changed my mind and felt it would be too cliched. Instead, I have resolved to plant more that one tree on any random day in the coming future, for everyday must be Earth Day. I will attempt to grow them from seed, just so that I know how its done, when it is time for me to teach my children the same.

Fire Fire!

On Thursday, 17th of April, I would have had what would have been my last ever short paper presentation of M. Phil. But, the Olympic torch came to town that day. The tight security in the Rajpath area of Delhi for the torch relay necessitated road blocks and disconnectivity through the metro. Until 11 o clock that night before, I had no clue that such a thing would happen to postpone my paper. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend to whom I was cribbing how I wasn't ready etc. And I got a call from a course-mate who lives 10 mins away. She informed me of the possible commuting upheaval. I called up my supervisor in the morning and now I have my last and final short p.p. the coming Thursday! Am so excited about getting over with them! But how lucky am I? I so needed a little more time to polish my p.p. and I had been exhausted. The Monday before I found myself walking the distance of perhap 3 kms in the 1.30 pm sun! Tuesday was similar, but less walking. I was tired and pukish and wanted to die that day! So, it was a relief actually, to postpone my paper!

But, I am not done talking about this silly torch relay hungama! What utter nonsense it was! The distance of 2.75 km was cordoned off as if a nuclear test was scheduled there. And for what? For 70 runners to carry the torch in the name of "peace" and "harmony". My mother switched the TV on for its live telecast and I was seething while watching such a stupid thing. First of all, this is a sporting event, so what were saif ali khan, sagarika ghosh, and aamir khan (You disappointed me big time aamir!) doing there? Was this a bollywood movie shooting? I am proud of Jaspal Rana (our gold-medalist shooter) for having refused to carry the torch on this same reason. Secondly, was so much security really needed for a just a gesture? For the carrying of the flame is just that - a gesture. I am proud of Kiram Bedi (the most awesome police-woman in this universe) for criticizing the barricading and not carrying the torch in a "cage". Thirdly, the Tibet issue. Everyone who gave a speech, diplomatically avoided the issue but mentioned vague terms of harmony for all and goodwill and so forth. Now, I do agree that pro-Tibet protesters could not have found a better time to strike while the China-iron is so red-hot with the Olympics round the corner. But really, why don't people stop the diplomatic bullshitting and just be forthright for once. Especially India. We don't want to spoil our already volatile relations with china. So we bow down and ignore the many Tibetan refugees in our own territory. We ignore the fact that china still claims Ladaakh and Arunachal Pradesh in the name of Tibet. We ignore that we had a war with china because of its territorial greed. I know I want the impossible, but I do hope Tibet will be free one day. And that the Indian police be more sensible when coordinating such security affairs. My sister was stuck in the traffic for over 3 hours coming back home that day and those going to Gurgoan were stuck for longer than that! It was a nightmare!

Piss-on-Juhi-Didi Day!

This cute and adorable baby is our neighbour's son. His name is Aarav. "Aarav" is a hindi word which means peaceful, calm or serene. Aarav used to be what his name signified when he could not sit up by himself, and that was a few months ago. Now he can crawl faster than the speed of light and can roar louder than a sonic boom. Yesterday he happened to piss on me twice... not that I minded it very much, he is the cutest baby in town after all!
Rash summers and nappie rashes resulted in lack of diapers.. and you can figure out the rest. They say that it is a blessing to be pissed upon by a babe... if that's the case, then thank you very much! But please be benevolent on someone else next time! :)

(May 5th, 2008: I have removed the picture of Aarav. He is very sick and has been sick for quite some time now. I feel that maybe my posting a picture of him has allowed an evil eye to be cast at him! yes yes, i am superstitous about this... too bad for people who poo-pooh me on this one!! I don't care for your opinions! I just hope this lil gesture of mine may get him well again. poor babe has been admitted in the hospital! :( !!)