on my mind

There is plenty that I need to write about, but didn't have the time, what with packing for my trip and worrying about my upcoming Dissertation.

The tension is in the uncertainty. We are made to submit 3 proposals all in different areas of interest. Now this is a Dissertation with counts for 3 times its grades in the overall grading. It will be the primary source of questions for the viva at the end of the course. It is also one that could potentially be an abstract for our future PhD. Thus, it is not a simple paper one just writes up. Its a 25,000 word pain-in-the-ass. So, when we are made to write 3 proposals of what we can work on, its no joking matter. But there is a joke... we don't really have any guarantee that our first preference will be taken up by a supervisor. Earlier, one could state preference for a supervisor, go to him/her and speak/discuss the topic, get feedback/suggestions. Also, this meant that chances of your first preference being chosen were strong. This time, due to some reason, the department decided they will not let students approach teachers. Which means that maybe there might be no teacher enthusiastic about my first choice. or my second choice. and I may end up with my third which I wrote just for the heck of it. My first two topics are quite radical. or at least they seem so to me when I think if there will be anyone interested in them. so I am going nuts over whether my first will be given to me. At this point I really don't care who my supervisor is, as all the teachers are world-class and quite helpful. I wouldn't want someone I never worked with or studied under, but I wouldn't mind it as long I get the first! There might be a meeting and I will miss it as I am leaving. Also, I may not really have an opportunity to negotiate if I am not around. So I have been in worry-mode these past few days.

As for the trip, it seems doomed from the start. Flying on December 6, the day of the anniversary of the demolition of Babri Masjid.... The airport is under tight security as intelligence agencies alert us of 9/11 style hijacking and attacks.... We will cross our fingers and hope for the best. Packing is ongoing and I will write more again. Need to write a blog on the Mumbai attacks and the 7 strange things tag!! coming soon...