My Pensieve

28 things in 14 days

2011-12-12T22:38:00.001+05:30

Isa’s Japan Trip List

1.   Watch life pass you by in the busy city of Tokyo.
2.   Chill with Laputa’s Robot at the Studio Ghibli Museum.
3.   Nod at the Great Buddha in Kamakura.
4.   See Mt Fuji covered in snow from Hakkone.
5.   Eat a kuro-tamago (or black egg) from Owakudani and add 7yrs to your life.
6.   Bow-clap-join hands at Nikko shrines.
7.   Omikuji or Fortune check.
8.   Spot a Geisha in Kyoto.
9.   Catch the Yamayaki festival in Nara on 14th Jan.
10. Osaka?
11. Pay respect to the Atomic Bomb victims at the Hiroshima Peace Park.
12. See the big Torii (gate) in the sea at Miyajima.
13. Pick your sushi at a Kaiten Zushi (conveyor belt sushi).
14. Eat sashimi – raw fish!
15. Sigh at Mochi Cream at Narita Airport.
16. Eat the best cherry cheesecake in the world from Little Mermaid!
17. Snack on eda mame – the healthiest snack on the planet!
18. Gorge on onegiri!
19. Karaoke all night long!
20. Pose and Pout for Purikura (or Print Club).
21. Onsen Ofuro chareji i.e. challenge.
22. Have a Frapuccino at Starbucks Shibuya overseeing the busiest intersection in the world.
23. Write a Haiku at Ryoan-ji in Kyoto.
24. Take a picture with Minnie in a Kimono at Tokyo Disneyland.
25. Window Shop at Ginza.
26. Play the Taiko Drums.
27. Isowatari or walk on stones set in water at Kiyosumi Teien garden.
28. Pet the world’s most famous dog – Hachiko – at Shibuya Station.

The Blue Mug Blew Me Away?

2011-07-26T22:47:00.052+05:30

Yesterday, I went to see the play, The Blue Mug, directed by Atul Kumar, starring Rajat Kapoor, Vinay Pathak, Ranvir Shorey, Sheeba Chadha, Munish Bhardwaj, and Shipra Singh. The play was about the capricious and fickle nature of memory.

The ordinary blue-coloured mug gifted to one attaches cherished memories and happy associations as it becomes a part of one’s lived reality. But over time, as it becomes special, it also gets chipped, the handle breaks, but one still holds onto it tight, having endowed it with significance and reverence, one fights those who wish to throw the special thing away. The mug becomes a symbol of memory’s tenacious hold on one’s life, just as one holds on to memory, in a viciously cyclical way. And when that memory is lost, one’s self is lost. That is one of the points the play was trying to make, as I see it.

I liked the play in most parts. I had problems with it, but I still think it was one of the better ones I have seen in the recent past. I didn’t think it was such a laughter-riot, it was funny in parts, but not ROFL at all! The humour was dark and disturbing, which was lost on most people in the crowd who were awful wannabes who came because they got to see famous actors live.. It is the illiterate masses who enjoy cuss words being said out loud in theatres (film or otherwise), not sensible thinking, intellectual human beings. It is children who enjoy clown jokes, not adults. The only legitimate laughter was the small child’s sitting a little ahead of me, who could not have had the maturity to understand the play’s serious undertones.

I know the audience's response is vital to an artist, especially when the economics of the production of art comes into play, but darn! shouldn’t it be the right sort of response? Most people would have gone home thinking it was lots of fun, “made me laugh so hard”! When the whole point of it is the silence which follows when the laughter stops.

Nonetheless, the acting was superb, and script wasn’t bad at all. The best character was definitely Ranvir’s Joginder – the lost soul whose memory is stuck in 1983. And my favourite scene has to be the chaotic walkabout wherein actors recounted, in fragments, past events – old and recent – including a self-reflexive account of the play itself. Also good was the childhood games pantomime by Vinay and Sheeba. My least like scenes were the “tweak” scene and the one I got a decent photograph of, shown below:

Most of the actors in this photograph have the same expression Vatsun probably had throughout the play, sitting next to me! We all agreed that the worst scenes were all of the wannabe modernist/absurdist/existential kinds. The most genuine were Joginder and shrink at the two ends of the stage, in the midst of a counselling session.

It may not have been the best play I have ever seen, but wasn't the worst one either! I give it 3.5 stars out of 5.

Down the Hostel Memory Lane

2011-07-25T00:04:00.001+05:30

I went back to the hostel today. After many years it seems. I think the last time I went there was to meet Aruna. And she left India more than a year ago. So by calculation, I have not been there for nearly quarter to two years! It isn't a lot, but it feels like an era!

I went there to help one of my dad's Japanese student move in. She got the room exactly above the last room I was in, which is also the same room I first selected but decided not to take!

I showed her around and told her about the ways some things are done. Like how to give your clothes for washing, or where to iron your clothes, where to register complaints, etc. I also took her across the street to show the main shops in Indra Vihar - especially Sardarji's shop. He recognised me and greeted me so kindly, even gave a discount on the juices we bought. And all the guard bhaiyas are the same and were happy to see me. The Laundry lady also greeted kindly. Even the rollie-pollie South Indian mess uncle was still there!! He is the cutest person on the planet and he automatically gave me a samosa that came with the tea without charging me for it! His Hindi has improved substantially, but I think, like before, he will still hand you something else in place of the thing you asked him for!

Gosh I miss that place! When going in, I told Yuki it feels like I am returning home. I wanted to be Yuki, I wanted to be the one shifting in, I wanted to stay the night there and not drive back to Dwarka. I came back home and thought, I should apply in DU for PhD and come to live in the hostel when I get in! I think I feel this way only because I want to have my own place. I need to move out!

Nonetheless, it was nice to see the hostel again. It was nice to see again the Library I was once incharge of, to rearrange the furniture in a room I once could have been lived in, to have evening tea in the mess again, and to meet again the people whose lives were lived in service of the girls in the hostel. It was also nice to have that good feeling in your heart when you meet someone who you have unknown ties with. (I met a girl and her mother from Mauritius who knew my Dad and had asked Yuki whether she was my dad's daughter yesterday after Yuki's interview!!)

Apart from the new Sunday brunch thing and two new papaya trees there, almost everything else is the same.

(part of my old room)

no longer at ease

2011-07-20T21:13:00.000+05:30

"Why is life so tragic; so like a strip of pavement over an abyss. I look down; I feel giddy; I wonder how I am ever to walk to the end. But why do I feel like this? Now that I say it I don't feel it...Melancholy diminishes as I write. Why then don't I write it down oftener? Well, one's vanity forbids. I want to appear a success even to myself. Yet I don't get to the bottom of it. It's having no children, living away from friends, failing to write well, spending too much on food, growing old - I think too much of whys and wherefores: too much of myself. I don't like time to flap around me..."

Virginia Woolf had said it all many year ago. I could not have found a better echo to my lackluster voice. Using the backspace key more than what appears in font in front, I delete my words wondering if it will delete the pain I feel. Does it always have to be beautiful poetic words to say that I feel crappy. So that people will read it and go "Ah!" Does it have to be in verse so that people care? So that they listen, pay heed and stare? Heart sick and eyes filled up with blue, borrowed words for hollowed desires.

Stolen memories from TV sitcoms and dramas do not fill the emptiness of the day.

10 reasons to be excited for true blood season 4

2011-06-24T12:05:00.001+05:30

1) Vampires and werewolves..
2) plus shapeshifters, fairies, maenads, and witches among other non-existing things
3) Blood n gore GALORE!
4) To hear bill go "sookie" once again!
5) Graphic sex!
6) Hunky Eric, Alcide and who knows if Quinn makes his appearance..
7) Jason gets supernatural
8) Cliched cliffhangers.
9) New music!
10) Fangs!

hoshang

2011-01-30T19:08:00.001+05:30

I am an old man

with a white Dumbledore beard

who has come face to face

with his mortality today.

I did many deeds
and had a lot of fun
But now in my last hour
I am all alone.

Being accosted in public parks
by old fat men who have been closeted for years,
does not flatter me anymore.

Pointing to the thirty-something boy over there,
"Why is he not gay?" I ask.
Life is never straight!

The twisted roads I traveled on
stretch forth
but I
go not hence.

Stop this rambling – aimless, joyless
Put an end to it
Full stop.

My life like this sentence,
like this poem,
is soon over.

Only remember me for what I wrote

For an artist never dies.

Weep not, but laugh, for harm I never caused.

Although shock a few I did,

But that never killed anyone!

And shock I will

till the end of my days

with my written words.

So, be shocked with innocent eyes wide open

For I have always been like this.

new year scare

2011-01-02T12:59:00.000+05:30

My dad went into anaphylactic shock yesterday night. The Disprin he took to relieve his headache reacted badly. It wasn't expired, nor was it fake (presumably!) and he'd taken disprin many times before, as prescribed, diluted in water. Who knows what happened this time!

He gave us quite a scare. My mom and sis tried their best to somehow keep him conscious and rub him into wakefulness. I ran about calling our neighbour with whose help we got him to the hospital. While the ambulance was coming I frantically called our Doctor uncles who were unavailable for what seemed an eternity! When finally I connected, dad had become better. Uncle asked me to ask dad to show his tongue and confirm what date it was to make sure it wasn't related to the brain. Dad was able to do and answer correctly, so we all heaved a sigh of relief. We were all thinking that he might have suffered cardiac arrest and become paralysed.. It was a terror-filled ten minutes which was really a walk-up call.

I thought about all the times dad tried to tell us where the important papers and documents and assets were. And the time when he seriously sat and talked about how we needed to know what to do if something happened to him. And I thought how unprepared we were and would always be because he is the pillar of stability in our lives and we are so dependent on him for everything. In those ten minutes, I hope, my life has changed. I hope I have learned to be prepared. I hope I will have learned to be more worldly. Only time will tell what I have learned...

My dad is fine now, and I hope I will not have to re-learn this lesson for a long time in the future..

nouveau-Patha Chitra

2010-12-11T01:22:00.000+05:30

a great loss

2010-06-23T14:36:00.000+05:30

One of my favourite teachers passed away this morning after having battled with cancer. She was always full of energy in class, and even though many a times she took the class in the afternoons when Delhi sun would make most run back home, we would stay on because Dr. Subbu was teaching Paradise Lost and we couldn't miss it for the world...

It's strange how just yesterday while reading the conclusion of Two Lives by Vikram Seth, I was thinking of her... how I never was able to visit her in the hospital, and I was regretting not having been more courageous to do so... In the book, Seth mentioned a visit to a friend whose illness and hospitalization isolated her from her friends.. I know Subbu was not isolated, but that doesn't mean that I needn't have made the effort to visit. I feel guilty, and now I will live with this regret that I wasn't strong enough to face her in the hospital...

Once I met her in Hindu, when she had recovered enough to rejoin, and my eyes had welled up right there in front of her as she boldly talked about the cancer while readjusting her wig. Now, this last image of her brings a smile to my face, it was so typical of her and of me, that it borders on the ironic. At that time, of course, I had to do all I could to stop from sobbing in front of her... I am never strong in the face of another's pain... I was a fool... and it proves my point that the gift of true empathy is also a curse.

This news of her death shatters me... not only because of the regrets, but because she meant so much. I knew when the cancer re-emerged that her chances of battling through would be greatly diminished. But I still wanted her to be cured. It is really sad. She was one of the best teachers in the world. She not only taught the text in a way that you understand it and remember it, but she also made us engage with it in a personal way that makes literature so relevant and crucial to human beings. Not many teachers can do this, and I hope one day I will be the kind of teacher she was...

What a loss to Hindu College and to all who knew her...

Restart? Refresh? Renew?

2010-05-18T17:10:00.000+05:30

I need to clean up this blog... there are many useless posts on it. And I need to have a new start... Am BORED to death with it... So I am setting a DATE - the Autumnal Equinox - 22nd September 2000 - when all old useless posts will fall like yellow leaves... NET is on the 27th of June... So, can't do anything till then... See you later, folks!

excuses

2010-01-30T12:03:00.003+05:30

It has been a while since I wrote on this blog. Its not that I have had nothing to write.... believe me, I have had plenty of things to write about in the past two months. It's just that I was:

very busy. December 2009 was the busiest month of my life it seems. Can't recall another time when I was this busy. Juggling the three places of work was not easy.
very lazy. when I did have some time to rest I was too lazy to get up and write. I would end up catching up on lost sleep instead.
very cold. January was so cold! I already posted the blue nails evidence on FB, so you know how terrible it was for me. And typing or using the Computer made it worse, because the internet connection is in the coldest room of the house. Want to get WiFi but have been 1. too busy, 2. too lazy and 3. too cold to get it.

But, I did do some exciting and fun things while I was so busy, lazy and cold too. I shall tell yopu about those soon. Just wait for it!

\(^o^)/

Becoming or not Becoming? That is the Question

2009-11-02T11:20:00.002+05:30

We wish to explore the details of an author’s life, digging into the letters written to friends and family, reading the intimate details within their journal and delving into the secrets of their personal life, thinking that it may provide further explanations for what that author has penned in his/her work, that it would highlight some subtle reference or unearth some hidden meanings and uncover subtexts in the writings which would somehow heighten the experience of reading and analysis. When all we really want through it is to know is the love-exploits of these classic authors. This invasion of privacy we do in the name of historical authenticity or deep research is enjoyable and yet disturbing.

I felt this deeply while watching Becoming Jane. The intrusions into the life of Jane Austen were almost disconcerting. The underlying hints of sexuality and not so subtle sexual politics while vastly amusing on one base level, caused a bit of a dilemma in me. Is it right to intrude in someone’s life this way, why not let the author in peace in their grave. Their immorality is based on the continuation of their memories and their works. People die a second death when the people who knew them also die, or so said Gabriel Garcia Marquez quoting his grandmother. By passing on the knowledge through the literary canon, we never let authors die, for we cannot do so. It would be a grievous sin against literature. Yet, what is the limit? Where do we stop? Must one make films on their lives, which will always only be a version of truth of reality? Must we mar their memory with our insights? With even thorough research and detailed presentation, we can never know what really came to pass. Is it enough to say that this is only ‘based’ on their life? That it is an ‘adaptation’?

There will always be an idiot who will foolishly think that the version he saw was real.

Vipin begins where Tanvi ends..

2009-10-14T12:11:00.007+05:30

Tanvi, one of my hostel friends got married to Vipin on Monday. It was a very beautiful church ceremony. The bride looked gorgeous, as you can see in the pictures, and she looked completely natural, as if this was meant to be what she was born to do! I have always been to weddings where the bride was either too demure and shy or just bogged down by everything going on about her looking hassled and frustrated with the weight of makeup and outfit... Tanvi was so natural that it was even more wonderful to see her married.

Meeting the guests at the door, taking blessings and greetings..

Clicking pictures with friends and family..

Last minute dressing up for the Ladies Sangeet the day before the wedding (helpers: Mausi, Maid of Honour, and friend)

The Bride and Groom at the Ladies Sangeet

change

2009-10-06T12:39:00.001+05:30

today I mark the change of my blog title. no longer the M.Phil. Chronicles, these are my thoughts and memories, in my Pensieve...

2009-09-26T19:51:00.003+05:30

I felt it today. The crispness in the air that tells you that seasons are changing.. that the festive spirit is near at hand. I don't know if it is the smoke from fire-crackers or its just the shorter days which lend a smell and a feel to the air. I look forward to Diwali more than any other festival and since it comes around the time of my birthday, it seems as if the year is coming full circle. There is that sense of rounding-up, conclusion, closure. It is a bit depressing, since I always associate my birthday with death somehow. Strangely, it is still one of my favourite times of the year!!

Running on Thin Luck

2009-08-23T23:39:00.005+05:30

Luck, I would think, is cold, like ice. It is dispassionate. It is stiff. It can soothe, but it can also burn. Mine sorta felt like it was burnt out last Wednesday.

I had my M.Phil. viva voce on that day. I was running a bit late because I had to make myself presentable at the beauty parlour. The Metro decided to stop for the 10 minutes at Dwarka Sector 14 that day. If it had stopped for longer, I would have been seriously late. But it didn't, which meant I would be at the Department of English on time, even with some time to spare. I usually take a rickshaw from the Metro station to the Faculty of Arts. I thought I would flip through my dissertation during the ride.

Then suddenly out of nowhere a car took a quick turn and my rickshaw swerved to avoid a head on collision, the turn was so sharp that the rickshaw tilted and fell over sideways. I was screaming while it was happening. Before even falling I knew I was about to fall and then swat like a fly I was flat on the ground. I got up, don't remember if anyone picked me up or not. I checked myself while someone came to pick up my things for me. I realised that none of my clothes were torn, I didn't have many scratches. My knee hurt a little. It was nowhere like the scooter accident I had in Okinawa, when I had lain on the ground conscious but unable to move for quite a while.

I don't know where I got the courage from but I wanted to shout at the car driver. Now there were two cars, and it was the second which came out of nowhere. The first one stopped but the second -the culprit- ran off. I was furious, moving towards the car which had stopped, I asked loudly to no one in particular and the world at large whether it was that car who caused the accident. When people told me no, I think I ranted in the middle of the road about who knows what...

Then a motorbike came fast near where I was standing and I shouted at them to kill the rest of me that happened to survive! I then stormed to my rickshaw, sat on it and ordered the rickshawala to go. I sobbed on the way a bit and when I reached the Department I wanted to breakdown completely. I was still in shock. Interestingly I didn't cry much (very unlike me). But I didn't want to stand in front of all my teachers like that! The Dissertation was so far off my mind at that moment. I could only think of how much worse it could have been.

I asked the office peon, who is a lovely gentlemen, one of my favourite office staff at the dept., to tell them what happened if they asked for me, that I was going to the bathroom to wash my face, that I need five more minutes. The convener of M.Phil. came out and asked me whether I wanted to sit down while they met the second candidate before me. (Did I mention I was the first person in the whole list?)

I sat and calmed down. Spoke to my friends. The story spread around and I kept saying, " It was nothing really." But it was something. I was shook up and I didn't really do a good viva in there. I was not confident anymore. I was nervous. I answered the questions but I wished I could have been more forcible and articulate, not stumbling looking for words..

Interestingly, I could still manage to joke when leaving. Trivedi told me to take care, and hoped I would be alright soon. I replied I'm already feeling better, and that my bag seems to have suffered worse physical damage. It was my favourite red bag that I got from Tokyo. And its strap came out.

* I may be a little superstitious, but I forgot to carry the Japanese charm I bought on New Year's day. I got the 'education' charm so that I can finish my Dissertation without ill-luck...

** on the Happy side, my Dissertation grade was A. Let's see what my overall grade, including the viva result, would be. It should be out soon. Keeping fingers crossed!

Delhi Metro is doomed

2009-08-14T13:27:00.002+05:30

On Wednesday, 12th August, I was stuck in the Metro for over 2 and half hours. I boarded the train at around 5:45pm from Vishwavidyalaya but did not reach home until 8:30. A route that should have taken less than 1 and half hours, took over 2 and a half. Reason, around 4 o'clock a train got derailed at the Dwarka station. The driver of the train switched to manual and the train overshot the tracks which were still locked. Thankfully there were no casualty and the train was travelling at a low speed, otherwise it would have jumped over the elevated ramp onto the road. In the whole network, apart from the stations from where the train goes to the depots, there are only two sets of tracks, one coming and the other going. No extra track has been made for emergency. Due to this, the whole train schedule was running late, and there were very few trains running. The number of people queued up to board trains which didn't show up, and when they did, they were already full to the brim. At Rajiv Chowk, I stood and waited for two trains which were so packed that I refused to step into them. I chose instead to go back a few stations from where it wouldn't be so full. That was my mistake. I was unaware of the derailing and thought it was just some minor delay. The authorities hardly made any announcement, and when they did, they said the delay was due to some technical error. There was no procedure to stop passengers from entering the stations, commuters piled up with nowhere to go. It was stuffed but shockingly many people still stayed in line! When I was in the train, I had a seat but those standing were squished. With swine flu on the rise, who knows how many viruses were transmitted.. In the heat and humidity, the A/Cs hardly had any cooling and once the power went out; it was excruciating. Our train was halted for 20 minutes at a station with the doors closed. No announcement was made to inform us why it was stopped, even to regret the inconvenience caused. People fought off those trying to board the train when it did move to the next station. One guy in my train started shouting press the emergency button, lets talk to the driver and ask him whats wrong. and they did, which halted the train for another few minutes until some officials came to see to the problem. It could have been a medical situation.
In another 5 years or so, Delhi Metro will become obsolete. In its construction, there has been a unfortunate lack of foresight. Many things have not been thoroughly thought out before execution. If there had been extra tracks, this chaos could have been avoided. Not only that, but they could then have run rapid and fast trains which stop at only major stations, just like the Japanese system. In the present system, the train stops at all stations of the route taking an unneccessarily longer time! Also, they made Rajiv Chowk big, but not big enough to handle the load that will soon be added when the trains to Noida start. They need to add two more bogeys, but they still don't have them ready. Who knows how much time they will take for that. and even when they add them, the no. of people coomuting will also have increased. which means that trains will still be stuffed. I wonder what can be the solution?

new blog?

2009-08-10T19:17:00.002+05:30

so... am wondering what to do about my blog.... I am on the last leg of my M. Phil. Chronicles... the viva dates have been announced. As some of you may know through my Facebook status, I am the first person on the list. I don't think its a good thing, all the profs of the department and the external will probably be too enthusiastic in the beginning and thus, they will fire off questions at me.. I donno what it'll be like and have been terrified of this moment since I first started M. Phil. I am not even ready to re-read my dissertation and long papers just yet! and its next week on Tuesday, 18th August!! Which also means that the grade on mydissertation should be coming out within this week! Gah! its moving too fast for me to be comfortable...

Which brings me back to my blog. I don't think I want to start another blog... I already have one for Oki and 2 others.. that's the trouble with titling it with a portion of one's life. I knew Okinawa Times would get over someday, and the M.Phil. Chronicles must come to an end too. So why did I name them such? Right about now I can't think of a new title. But I suppose I can wait until my final result comes out which would be by the end of August I suppose. But after that I will have to change the name. Still thinking on it. Maybe it will come like a flash as it did with my dissertation title. But I wouldn't mind suggestions! :) so, friends, do you have any?

News:

2009-08-06T11:02:00.006+05:30

The Dissertation is over and done with. I decided the title on the final day! It is: "Anarchy in the UK! Punk Rock, Racism and Hanif Kureishi: A Cultural Study" How does it sound?
I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to celebrate the completion. I loved the movie, but wanted more! I also felt that it would be confusing for a person who hadn't read the book. I had read it a long time ago and hardly remembered the story. Wanted to re-read it before watching the movie, but am glad I didn't have the time to do so, coz then there was some amount of suspense!
Last week, I attended this 6-day orientation for new teachers of the English Language Proficiency Course that will be run by Delhi University for the second time from August 10 to mid-December. Needless to say, that I am one of the teachers... Lets see how it will be trying to teach nearly-adult learners the correct usage of English.
On the 5th day of the Orientation, I started coughing. The constant AirConditioning finally got to me. As the day progressed, I felt a dull ache in my head coming along. My back started aching as well and I knew I was gonna get sick. The next 3 days were spent trying to bring down my temperature from the 101-2 degrees Fahrenheit that it was. My cough still hasn't completely gone.
On Sunday, 2nd of August, I moved out of the hostel. I was still very sick at the time, but I didn't ask for another extension since the International Students House for Women authorities suck majorly. They have been trying their best to kick old students out so they can fill it with new unsuspecting ones since we oldies know their dark history. The hostel is not the place it used to be, and I am glad I am out of it. The way they behaved especially with my friend, Aditi, telling her to move out in a day on her birthday(!!) was nothing but DESPICABLE. I'm very disgusted with these women and a full rant will follow soon enough.
I am now living at home and looking for a job (besides the ELPC).

I am copper?

2009-07-05T11:10:00.001+05:30

You Are Copper

You are provocative and challenging. You help people realize who they really are.

You live a very balanced life. You always take time for love and art.

You are both a powerful and generous person. You always have time to give back.

People find you to be incredibly ethical and loyal.

What Metal Are You?

Gym Playlist

2009-06-21T09:38:00.008+05:30

I have been going to the gym in the hostel regularly enough these days. Yesterday, I realised how important my lil iPod nano has become for me; it ran out of battery power, and I felt stranded. So, I decided to write a post on my favourite gym songs, i.e. songs that really get me going to push myself that much further.

Supermassive Black Hole by Muse: I hate to begin my workout with this song. I randomly select a song with eyes closed. I have the shuffle feature on and when this song suddenly comes on when least expected, a smile comes on my face. It's my favourite Muse song (a band I don't particularly die for) but, I love the pace of this song. Also, it reminds me of the Cullens in their most playful, and for me their most sexy moment! "oooooooooooaaaaaaaah! you set my soul alive...." :)

Faint by Linkin Park: With its 135 beats per second, it is the best song ever to run with!! Another good one is the mashup of "faint" and "Toxic"by Britney Spears! (I Know!! It's crazy - I like a song that is remotely related to Britney Spears!!)

Paranoid by Megadeth: It's a cover of the Black Sabbath song. Its faster than the original version, and therefore a prefered version.

Prince of Darkness by Megadeth: The lyrics are awesome. The beat is awesome. The vocals a good-creepy awesome :) ! It builds up bit by bit. And when it hits the part where the bass starts... ah! it makes me feel like feline - smooth, sleek, sly, sinuous... evil! and my movements match up!

Orgasmatron by Sepultura: Another cover song. Originally by Motorhead, apparently... coz I only know the Sepultura version, which I love!!!!! The build up is soooo.... AHH! The drums superb! if only I could hear this live! when the guitar solo comes in and the drums progress... are there any words to describe music? every time I hear this song, I want to stand up, headbang, energy seems to pulsate thru my body!

Mr Brightside by The Killers: It's slower.. by a minuscule degree from my other favs... but I generally like this one to start off with.

Don't Stay by Linkin Park: LP have great gyming songs with the appropriate fast pace I need with racy beats and strong bass sounds. I prefer the album Meteora.. Figure.09 is also a good song.

Chop Suey by System of a Down: I was introduced to SOAD by David while driving down to book club. I remember he scared me quite a bit. Coz the song came on and he shouted-sang along to the "You wanted to" part. And I wasn't paying attention at all, and suddenly dave is headbanging while driving!! I was too surprised to notice the beauty of this song, but now I know better! :)

Sleeping Awake by P.O.D.: From the soundtrack of The Matrix Reloaded, this song seems slower to my ears than other heavier songs. But, I love it!

Reload by Rob Zombie: Another Matrix Reloaded song... This is the best! It is so fast! Awesome beats. I would love for this song to be played in a club and I would love to be in that club when it is played!

Bring Me to Life by Evanescence: OK, I know, this isn't a typical gyming number... but the chorus is heavy enough for me!

Snowblind by System of a Down: Another SOAD song that really gets me going. there is no build up, it just starts! when I first heard their discography, most songs seemed incomprehensible, they are just so fast! But my ears are quite attuned now and I actually crave faster tracks at times!! Apparently, this is also an original Black Sabbath song... guess I should download and listen to them!

Ryukyu no Kokoro by Mongol 800: At least one Japanese song! There are so many fast paced J-Pop songs, but I choose the punk one! :) This song starts slow, but hell! Does it pick up a beat or what!?

Decode by Paramour: Ok, fact is I LOVE the Twilight soundtrack!
The part I like best is when the lyrics are
"The truth is hiding in your eyes
And its hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
(I'm screaming "I love you so..."
But my thoughts you can't decode) "

Stupify by Disturbed: When I first heard this song in a heavy metal compilation CD a friend from Maldives lent me, I was like "woa, wait a minute, this song should be in a Harry Potter movie!" but then, I looked up the lyrics... hahaha! i am sure parents wont approve of the use of the f-word! No build up, just start 'whack'/fuck/rock-ing away! :)

Toxicity by SOAD: SOAD are great! So wish I could attend a concert.. so wish they would get back together and come to Delhi... Wishful thinking... If ever they do go on tour, I will so be buying a ticket! Toxicity was my first SOAD fav. I didn't know that its one of their most successful songs. I just liked it for the melody entwined with heavy sounds. Vocals.. perfect; Lyrics.. perfect; Guitar.. perfect; Bass.. perfect; Drums.. perfect; SONG.. perfect!!

So, this has been a nice change from my sad posts, huh? :)

Sunny days, where have you gone?

2009-06-11T00:54:00.004+05:30

It was one of those days. Bang after a week of torturous heat and dryness, a storm and rain. glorious sweet scintillating rain. sudden darkness at 2.30 in the afternoon which made the soothing yellow of bulb lamp feel nice. and thunder so loud it drowned out all other sounds. clouds so low you could touch them. breeze to blow all worry and stress out of your system. the smell of wet earth to refresh all senses. sublime. poetic. blue.

after the downpour stopped there were still thick clouds hiding the harsh summer sun. the lingering coolness made me get up and walk out of my room. that and the longing.

it was one of those days you wish you could share a companionable silence with someone who would walk by your side holding your hand just happy to be there. i longed for that simple joy.

i walked concentrating on each step. i walked as if i was walking a tight rope. it seemed to make so much sense to make sure that each step followed directly ahead the other. walking unselfconsciously aimlessly seemed most unacceptable.

i let soft slow songs on my iPod drown the mocking calls of the peacocks. i hummed along,

why does it always rain on me is it because i lied when i was seventeen why does it always...

so apt...

the tiny raindrops fell on my burning skin like pin-pricks. it was a welcome pain. afterall the thorn in my chest hurt worse.

i was sad. i honestly have not been this sad in a while. i can suppress sadness with little joys usually. today the little joys eluded me.

i walked back into the hostel when raindrops became bigger and fell more frequently. Sister Lucky needed my help carrying a 20kg bag. Sister Lucky is one of the most friendly sisters i have met in the hostel. she is truly kind and sweet. always has something happy or good to say. her real name is not really Lucky, but how does one pronounce their impossible names! so each sister usually has an easier name.

maybe something alerted her. she called me into her room to chat before taking the luggage down. she was leaving for Vietnam tonight. she cheered me up in her own special way. her English is still better than many other nuns, although her tonal singsong nasal enunciation still needed extreme attention. it was nice to focus hard on what she was trying to say to me. that process of concentration and the content of her words made me forget my loneliness. she was my sunny day.

it's selfish and twisted, but i hope the hot weather returns. at least it is tiring. it fatigues the body into numbness. dripping sweat makes one detest the thought of bodily contact. the heat doesn't let the mind wander. heat is the only thought that comes to the mind when it's that hot. heat is not conducive to romance.

But that's not what Travis meant the song to mean, did they?

hmmm...

My Favourite Part About Indian Summers:

2009-06-07T11:42:00.001+05:30

Amaltas - the Indian Laburnum

Revelation

2009-05-27T16:20:00.004+05:30

I had a sudden flash of revelation... I know now why I had been scared of the sea in Okinawa. Why when we jumped off the boat into the water near Taketomi, I was hesitant even though I wanted to do it very much. Why kayaking in Higashi was fun, but I could be on/in the water only with a life-jacket. Why countless time I wouldn't stay in the water for hours like I always had done before going to Okinawa. Why I wasn't braver in the water. I was not afraid of the ocean, I was afraid of myself. I know now that it would have come easily for me to let go... let the tide take me where it may... and maybe unconsciously I was not ready for that yet, I was too happy and felt I needed more time. It wouldn't be very difficult to walk into the sea when I am finally prepared... it would be painful, I know... but I think it would be peaceful as well... such a calm descends over me when I think of it. I wish I could let go now... too bad Delhi is surrounded by land and the only water body - the yamuna - is as good as a drain...

food is my religion, albeit the vegetarian kind...

2009-05-09T19:15:00.003+05:30

About a dozen women of my mother's age group are singing, dancing, shrieking and making rude jokes in my living room rite now. I have run away after sitting patiently and clapping along for a while. Now I am sitting in a dark room hoping they wont remember me and call me to dance again. My mom organised this "kirtan" or a prayer service. I dislike it. Very much. I don't believe in its religious part. I can only dance when I am under the influence, so I can't really enjoy it in a secular way. But I am waiting for the food at the end of it, maybe coz I had only one meal since morning and its nearly 7:30 in the evening now, or maybe I only appreciate these events for the gastronomical pleasures.... ah food glorious food! :)

voted

2009-05-07T22:51:00.003+05:30

The General Elections came to Delhi. And I voted. I took my decision based on candidates' qualifications. Unlike last time when Delhi elections were held and I voted for a party, not candidate. I also discovered I can 'vote for nobody,' but for that one has to fill a form apparently. Well, this time, even though I feel that no-one is really qualified to run India, I still didn't want the candidate who looked like a rapist to represent my area! So, I chose one who has a PhD and who has actually achieved real goals in the past... This is my proud mark:

(In India they make a square mark with permanent ink so that you don't repeat your vote.. I guess the man making these wanted to put his unique design on us, so he made a diagonal line instead...)

my second A

2009-04-23T17:00:00.003+05:30

I found out today that I got an A in my Visual and the Verbal course. YAY!! It was the Marquez and Dali paper... :) I want to celebrate but can't because there is lost of work to be done for my dissertation. My supervisor wants to see as much work as possible before supervision ends on the 30th of April... Gah! this means a further delay on the Liz in India blog post.

contemplating

2009-04-11T19:57:00.002+05:30

I have been contemplating for a long time to update my blog, with something more fun than ad campaigns to save turtles. I still have to write a blog about Liz in India (which has been unceremoniously dumped in drafts with the single word Liz as a title...) Its not like I don't have things to say. I have lots. But I find that recently my thoughts have been highly unstructured. Even while studying I am unable to focus on the task at hand. I jump from one book to the next thinking that maybe the other book would automatically grasp my attention allowing me to get some concrete work done. But no. My mind wanders from happiness that was travelling with Liz and to sadness at the loss of some stuff. In this year I have managed to loose some sentimentally valuable stuff - like my Nine West pouch with my favourite eyeshadow and a necklace a friend sent to me in Okinawa in it at Niigata. I lost a pair of earrings Isa gave me. Then I recently lost one of a pair of silver earrings that I just bought in Jaipur with Liz. It was fast becoming a fav as regular wear didn't make my earlobes sore. I believe I have also lost a friend recently - and I don't want to talk about that. Then a couple of days ago I smashed to smithereens one of a pair of new contact lenses. I guess I am becoming either careless or very unlucky; maybe I am both. I am sad most of the times for no reason, even though apart from these loosing sprees I have been alright otherwise. I think too much and consequently accomplish nothing. It could also be that I now live in the hostel, and even though I have friends, at the end of the day a loneliness sets in. I am going home tomorrow, so I shall do a happy task - that of posting travel pics and write the blog on Liz :)

(click to enlarge)

2009-03-29T09:33:00.001+05:30

I'm a Punk

2009-03-12T15:16:00.000+05:30

I have been reading The Philosophy of Punk by Craig O'Hara as part of the research for my dissertation; and I have come to the conclusion that I am a Punk. I am anti-homophobia, anti-racism, anti-sexism and pro-environment. I like 'loud' politically motivated rock music. I love to shock. I am non-conformist/ or at least I like conceptual anarchy and non-conformism. Thus, I am a Punk. I would love to have the garb occasionally too, even though bondage clothes and coloured spikey hair might be a little much for the Indian sensibility. For a long time I have been wanting a peirced tongue and at least one tat. Is this a mid-youth crisis?

yeh Dilli hai meri jaan

2009-01-28T13:06:00.002+05:30

22 Feb 2009 : I know I have been away from this site a long time. Only because I didn't feel like writing. this is what I wrote a long time ago but kept it in Drafts:

So, am back. I had a good flight, even though the weather was mostly bad and we had a longer flight than usual for the route. I got to see Fujisan by fluke! Usually the captain makes an announcement, but this time none was made. I was being served a drink at the time and I looked out the window; and there it was, poking out of the clouds, just about to be hidden by the wing of the aircraft.

When I landed, I shedded my coat, and was sweating even in the light sweater I wore. Good Heavens! When I stepped out of the airport, Delhi Juhi persona came back on. I was on guard, coz I had to take a prepaid taxi home. We decided that I am finally old enough to do so on my own :)! Everything went fine. No complaints.

Oh! I have to add: After I wrote that last post, one of my friends came to dad's office where dad and I were. She asked me if I had time to spare. We went and ticked off 3 things on my list - purikura, taiko drums and kaitenzushi. Another girl, also from the Urdu Department also joined us and when we reached Musashi Sakai station yet another girl also from the Urdu dept. greeted Asuka (my friend). Many people know Asuka it seems! The second girl actually reacted to my name by shouting, "Oh! Juhi? Juhi Chawala!?!" I have not had that reaction ever in Japan from a Japanese person, and its anyway been a while since such a thing happened. For those who are wondering.... Juhi Chawala is a famous Bollywood actress. Although her shinning era has gone, in the late 80's and 90's she was quite the hit. I was not named after her, although everyone seemed to identify me to her for the longest time very much to my irritation. I was not irritated this time, just shocked that this happened yet again and that too in a foreign country.

Left for next time

2009-01-23T09:35:00.003+05:30

I am at the end of my trip, and less than 24 hours remain till I catch my plane back. My bags are packed. But I am not ready to go. I still have so much to do. I have mixed feelings about leaving. I never really like the fact of returning to Delhi (for obvious reasons). This time though, the cold has finally taken its toll on me and I wish nothing more but warmer climes. Since the past 2 days, it has been dark and wet. I was happy while it was sunny; luckily in my 1 month, 2 weeks and 4 day trip, it was not sunny for maybe just 6 or 7 days. Tokyo is only going to get colder as February approaches, and Delhi must have already begun to get warmer.

The things I wasn't able to do ...
Karaoke - I met up with some friends, but was not able to plan a karaoke night. It is so lame to go alone! I don't even think there are single karaoke boxes in Japan. Karaoke is best done when a group of genki gaijin get together. My favourite times in Karaoke have been with my dear friends from Okinawa. Next time I might just drag someone along with me.
Visit Nikko and Hakone - Plans didn't take shape. Weather was also a huge consideration.
Sumo - I was ready for this one, especially since the tournament took place in Tokyo this Jan. But my dad left his big Nikon camera in Delhi. It would have been best to take pictures since I would have bought the cheapest ticket that seats one very far from the pit. (Even the cheapest ticket costs more than Rs.2000 though!)
Kabuki - I dont really know why I didn't put any effort into going and seeing it! Just lazy I guess..
Climb Fuji - like I said before, not possible in winters anyway.
Purikura - again, a group activity. I would have done this with friends studying in the Urdu Dept. but plans got cancelled when one friends caught the flu.
Kaitenzushi - no prob coz I ate lots of kappa maki bought from the supermarket.
Tokyo Disneyland - thrice cancelled due to bad weather.
Taiko drums - Ah.. whatever.
I am getting bored of this post... so what if I couldnt do all the things I wanted to! Just escaping Dehli was enough! :) and I DID do so many other things that I am quite satisfied with! To hell with it! These can remain pending so that I can dream about them while I do my dissertation...

...dreaming of my next trip!! :)

details from NMWA

2009-01-21T12:12:00.007+05:30

Detail from Paul Signac's The Port of Saint-Tropez

Detail from Yellow Irises by Monet:

Daruma

2009-01-19T09:57:00.005+05:30

To know what the Daruma is, check this site! I could write out an abridged version, but am lazy. Plus this article is really informative and interesting. Highly recommend a read through!!

This is one of the two Darumas I bought. This other is more decorative (i.e. it has the eyes drawn) and this one is functional (i.e. I shall make a wish on it.):

Ueno

2009-01-15T14:59:00.008+05:30

I wanted to go to the zoo in Ueno for a long time to see Pandas. Unfortunately when I arrived at the ticket counter and asked the sweet lady if it was possible to see this cute creature, I was told that it had passed away sometime ago. I nonetheless went in, because I haven't been to a zoo in many years. I think the last time was when I was 8 years old and we went to Frankfurt Zoo. My chief memory from that visit was seeing Flamingos and buying a parrot and a peacock stuff toys. I might have been to Delhi Zoo - but that was ages and ages ago. I find zoos sad and the animals pitiful. This zoo despite being in a much better shape than many zoos in India, was still depressing. But I saw a couple of polar bears and a gang of very restless meerkats among other animals that I hadn't seen before.

At the entrance:

Origami cranes for the memory of Panda:

A real (not origami) Japanese crane:

Sleeping Emperor Penguins (what an uncomfortable posture, though!):

Drowsy, Polar Bear #1:

Unsure of Whether to Jump in the Water Or Not, Polar Bear #2:

National Bird of Trinidad, Scarlet Ibis:One of the funniest mammals I have seen, Meerkats:

Swarm of Rats:

This Guy happily posed while I took pictures of him! Seriously!!

Flamingos... a disappointment from what I remember in Frankfurt:

Hippos are huge! I never really realised how huge they must be!
'ey there, mate!
Mother goose:

I also went to two Museums in Ueno that day - the Tokyo National Museum and the National Museum of Western Art. TNM was quite big and more valuable for people with an interest in ancient art and Japanese art. It was nice to look at the Indian Miniatures preserved there and the history of Buddha in art traced there.

I had been to National Museum of Western Art before, but I couldn't resist going there again! I had an hour before closing time and the option of 2 Museums - Natural Science and Western art. I chose the Monets, the Renoirs and the Cezannes over dinosaurs. I got to take many pictures this time, but I might clog your RAM with so many photos loading on the page! Also, I think it would be a copyright issue.

yuki mi daifuku

2009-01-14T15:57:00.003+05:30

This is the famed ice-cream mochi that made me fat in Okinawa :)

Actually, I tasted the brown one for the first time today... and I came to the conclusion that I like the plain one better. Ahhh! oishii so!!

Niigata

2009-01-12T14:39:00.004+05:30

Once upon a time during Golden Week in Kume jima, Okinawa, I met this interesting person from Niigata who was staying with his girlfriend and two other friends at the same camping grounds as we were. We had a big barbecue with many other JETs who were also visiting Kume at the same time. And at this barbecue we were generally in high spirits and making much noise as we celebrated the moment. Many others at the camp ground joined us in the festivities, including this person I mentioned. We got to talking and exchanged info. He kept in touch with me (thank you, facebook) for the love of Indian ‘curry’.

This time when I came to Japan after more than a year, I needed to see some snow. What place better than the very one which saw the birth of skiing in Japan – Niigata. My friend had kindly offered his parents house and his time to show me Niigata on various occasions before. This time I took advantage of his repeated offer and went there.

I took a bus from Ikebukoro on the evening of the 8th and reached Niigata by night. On the way, I fell asleep soon, but woke up 2 hours or so before my destination. I then kept staring out the window in case it started snowing. Much to my disappointment, the landscape remained black.

Suddenly, maybe it was a reflection of light, I thought I saw white on the ground. Could it be? No... it’s just a figment of my imagination. But look! There it is once again. I must be dreaming… Salt? – It must be salt! It can’t be salt, you fool! Could it really be snow? Is it snow? It’s snow!! I wanted to shout – Snow! Yuki! I wanted to tell everyone in the bus - yuki! I looked around, no one shared my enthusiasm. They would probably think I was mad. In their lifetime, they had probably seen more than a zillion trillion billion million times the amount of snow on the side of the road that I was so excited about.

I calmed down. Actually I got bored after half an hour of looking out for patches of white on the side of the highway. Then came a huge tunnel. It seemed never to end. In the middle somewhere there was a line separating Gunma and Niigata prefectures. I thought there must definitely be plenty snow on top of this mountain we are cutting across.

Once the tunnel was crossed, my eyes got the treat they had been thirsty for. A layer of white covered the place. There were mountains of snow. And heavy machinery had been used to clear it up from the highway. My boredom disappeared and I stared till my eyes literally hurt and I could see no more white.

My friend met me at the bus terminal in central Niigata, showed me his favourite haunts around the city and then took me to his parents house which was in the countryside. His parents have a daiko taxi service – which is a special service to drive a drunken person home in their car after their thirst has been quenched at the bar at wee hours of the night. (Japan has a zero percent alcohol rule for driving, and thus such a service exists.) So they were up even at 11:30 in the night when I arrived. It was actually early in their case…

On the way home, Hikaru asked, “By the way, there are two dogs at my parent’s house. Is it ok?” I wanted to laugh, and did! If it was ok? It’s bloody brilliant! I love dogs and sometimes hunger for petting one! I miss Mickey more than anything else in this world! I still cry missing him so much! I was, in fact, praying that there be a dog! These dogs were so friendly, just like Mickey. Even their names begin with ‘M’ – Miruku(Milk) and Marin. They kept wagging their tails, and jumping on me and sniffing me until it tickled. Ah! The best welcome ever!

And Hikaru’s mother is one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met. I absolutely adore her. She is six years elder to my mother, but she looked like she was Hikaru’s elder sister! Of course she didn’t know English, so we used all devices possible to communicate. She took great care not to use katsuo bushi or dashi in the food she prepared for me. I had some extremely oishii Japanese home food there. If only I could have more understanding people like Hikaru and his mom at restaurants etc.!

The next morning after a filling breakfast, we headed over to an onsen called Yasuda onsen, where his mother would not let me pay. She said something to the effect that ‘mama’ will take care of it. I felt only a split-second moment of hesitation to take off all my clothes in front of her – she is mama after all. And then inside, when we were taking a shower before entering the real onsen, she came with a towel-like loofah and rubbed my back!!! I cannot recall a time when I had that luxury before! Maybe my own mom was the last person who scrubbed my back maybe when I was a child… but I have no memory of it.
We then headed to the nearest ski area so I could see snow. Maybe it was the effect of the onsen, but I had no need for the many layers of clothing I brought to protect me from the fear of cold. I put on an extra sweater only because of psychological cold, but really I didn’t need it. My parka was more than enough! I loved it. I was so happy and excited. Hikaru said later that only children are so happy to see snow the way I was. I wanted to play, but it had already hardened. I guess that it is possible to play only after a fresh snowfall, with soft snow that can be molded… It was great for skiing nonetheless. I was asked if I wanted to try my hand at skiing, but I think just walking on ice was enough for the first time!

Next, we went shopping for a special sweet called ‘maanju,’ (It’s like a small sweet bun with filling inside). Then, we went to a sake factory:The rice in Niigata is considered the best quality rice in Japan. So wine made from this rice is naturally also considered good. I was told many facts about sake as Hikaru has extensive knowledge about it and other alcoholic beverages. His old room was almost a storage area for wine!
We went to landlord’s manor later on. It wasn’t really great – the lighting was bad for photography and the trees were bare. It would have been best in autumn or at least a feet of snow for a visit. To wrap up the day, we went shopping for spices and I ended up making dinner – aloo sabji (potato curry), raita (yogurt salad); and bhatooré (fried naan). It was interesting… I hadn’t made aloo sabji and poori since Okinawa!

The second day, we went to an open air onsen – a rotenburo called Murasugi onsen. It was completely unmanned and had a sensor which made noise when a person approached the gate. You had to buy a ticket from a vending machine and simply drop it in the box next to it. The day before Hikaru had made me go in and ‘check’ it. If someone wanted they could just go in free. But the Japanese would never. Also its just 300 yen! So cheap! Therefore, no one would think of cheating! It was an old style, so it didn’t have a shower. Just strip and enter the water. I think there is pseudo-nudist in me. I just loved it. Out in the open amidst nature – in a bamboo forest; the roof of a Shinto shrine visible nearby; blue skies on top; and I, relaxing in hot blue waters… Ah! It was awesome. The water was actually very hot. Despite the winter season and cold air on bare skin, it took me a splash of cold bucket full of water and 5 – 10 mins of jumping in and out of the onsen to adjust to it! But once it was bearable, I just didn’t want to come out! We went to another onsen later that day so I could have a shower and it was a three-in-one kind of onsen. It had a sulfuric bath, a new style bath and a rotenburo bath. When I walked to the roten, it was snowing. So not only have I seen and touched snow, I have been naked in snow! :)
We had Tofu made from natural spring water near Murasugi onsen. (Seriously, that spring water was the freshest water I have ever drank!) We also had natural fruit ice-cream. I chose sakura (cherry blossom), special Niigata pears, and wild strawberry flavours. Hikaru had machha, cream cheese and sweet potato. I liked mine better because the sour taste of wild strawberries contrasted the strong sweet of the pear. And the man served me more strawberry flavour than the rest, so it was awesome! (I love sour taste best!)
We went to some big and famous shrine later on. I was unenthusiastic as such shrines are scattered everywhere. If you have been to Meiji Shrine in Tokyo, you don’t need to go anywhere else really... Again the light was bad for photography, and it was really cold to enjoy anything. Sun had gone down and it was drizzling snow, if you know what I mean… This time, I hardly did any research before going to. I usually undertake as extensive a study as is possible. I left it to Hikaru’s discretion to take me wherever he felt best. So I don’t really remember the name of the Shrine or the Manor.
It was coming near to the time when I would have to catch my bus back to Tokyo. We had actually bought more time by requesting to board the bus from a stop in the middle instead of from where it originated. When we reached what we thought was the stop, we found out that we were on the opposite side. We had a minute or so to the scheduled time! To get to the other side, we would have to take a round about. Hikaru was on the phone with a girl at the bus center. We were lost and couldn’t find the stop. It was nerve-racking. Last time I felt like this was when Dave and I ran against time to catch our ferry to Ishigaki (which we missed!) Hikaru had a car and we could have gone to the next stop, but it would have been a bit problematic for Hikaru to drive all that way. So it was critical to catch the bus here itself. Thankfully, it was running 10 mins late due to snow, so we made it. I don’t know if the bus was waiting for me or not, but it was standing there and the driver was outside waiting with the luggage compartment open. I was out of breadth and I managed to thank Hikaru, say goodbye and board the bus.

‘Mama’ had packed an ume onigiri bento (plum rice ball box) for me, along with maanju, cake, extra ume boshi (pickled plum), and Japanese orange called Nagasaki. She had used goma (sesame) with the rice, and packed the nori (seaweed) separately so that it wouldn’t get soggy. It was so good! I have not had a better onegiri ever! Am salivating with the memory of it!

On the way back it snowed like crazy in the first hour of the ride. I was amazed at the driver though, he overtook so many cars and went at a speed which seemed very fast considering the bad weather. When we stopped at the first service area for a break, I felt what real fresh snow feels like, and also made a chisai yuki daruma – or a small snowman! I wish we had more time at the service area so I play more. (Although, it wasn’t so much fun alone!)

On the way I saw so much snow – it had snowed maybe a feet or more. It was so beautiful. I started to cry. Most people who know me, know that there is very little that wouldn’t make me cry. I was really overwhelmed. I wanted this to have happened yesterday in central Niigata. I wanted to be able to run and jump in that whiteness. I wanted more time in that snow. I wanted time to freeze.

I would say that for a non-skier, it was not such a great time to have gone! After I left it snowed afresh in central Niigata (where I had stayed) and Hikaru told me to come back. Perhaps during the many interesting festivals, or spring/autumn would have been the better seasons to visit Niigata. But two of my utmost desires were fulfilled during my stay - to relax at an open air onsen and to see snow. Because of these I can say that my visit was successful. But I would still like to visit again with more research put into it, and see more of the cultural aspect of Niigata. Maybe next time I visit Japan…

(for all those who read this 2246-word blog entry: please tell me and you will get an unlimited number of free copies of my book, when I write it. Promise! :) )

Sensoji

2009-01-07T11:17:00.002+05:30

Sensoji is the most famous temple in a district called Asakusa in Tokyo. I went there five years ago with my mom, sis and two girls students of my father. I did omikuji (like fortune-telling). But I didn't have 100 yen change and forgot to drop it when I did obtain the change. The fortune was good, and I went back to Delhi, applied for MA and got the hostel. And all was well. But I could not get it out of my head that I did it for free by mistake.

So I had it in my head that I must visit Asakusa whenever I went to Tokyo next. I did come out here but it so happened that a trip to Asakusa didn't materialise. But this time it did. We went to Asakusa with the delegates of the conference. And I thanked the gods there for the good fortune and I dropped the 100 yen long overdue.. My M.A. years were two of the best years for me. I don't think it was solely because of the omikuji, but at least I don't suffer from any guilt anymore! :)

Harajuku Cosu-play

2009-01-05T08:12:00.005+05:30

I wanted to see this for a long time. But I have a feeling that winters is not really the best time for this... After all, in warmer weathers one does not have to think about layers of sweaters and overcoats. I still found a few cosuplayers hanging around, coz the Japanese youth will do anything for fashion...

This guy :

was posing with one of his legs up for photographs that foreigners were taking. I caught him at a time when there was a lull in attention being showered on him. I thought it was very kawaii so...

Anyone for free hugs?

Maybe I will go again in warmer times. Plus, for the sake of variety, I wouldn't mind seeing such exhibition again.

A Stranger’s Goodness of Heart

2009-01-05T07:38:00.002+05:30

It was about 2:15 am on 1st January 2009. We had celebrated the New Year at Zojoji Temple and were returning home, tired and sleepy but happy for what had been a very interesting night.

The evening had been full of novelty. I had dined on vegetarian Mexican food for the first time, out of the first fully vegetarian menu card I have seen in Tokyo! I celebrated the countdown standing alone on the road while around me the drunk mass of people made crazy noise and movement. I also saw over a thousand or so balloons go up in the air live for the first time. They were carrying wishes straight to the gods in heaven. I visited a temple, prayed to Kami Sama, did omikuji (fortune seeking) and bought omamori (a good luck charm) – the traditional way of celebrating the New Year in Japan for the first time. I also tasted Amazake (traditional hot rice sake) for the first time. But that was not enough adventure for the night.

At the ticket counter of Nishi Kasai Rail Station, a woman came up to me with her hand held out. She said, “I have something for you.” Initially distrust crept into my head for a split second. A bit taken aback, I looked down at what she was holding out to me. It was a day pass on the Tokyo Metro subway network. It had cost her 710 yen, and was still valid for another 3 hours until 5am that morning. (In Tokyo, the trains run till early hours of the morning only for the New Year; at other times they shut down for the night.)

This lady was probably returning home, and had no more use for the ticket. She could have taken the ticket home or thrown it away after having no need for it like many people usually do, but she thought it better to pass it on to someone who could use it further. I don’t know if she sought a gaijin (foreigner) on purpose or that I was just the first person she saw and approached. I thanked her with much surprise and gratitude. Although, it saved me a mere 270 yen (about Rs.135 in India, but meager in Japan), it was the selfless act to start the New Year with that more important and left a deep impact on me. I must pay it forward to make it last.

A Walk Around Inokashira Koen

2008-12-26T11:59:00.006+05:30

In Search of the Last of the Momiji

Inokashira Park is the closest of the bigger parks near my house. It is extremely beautiful in the changing seasons. I took the opportunity of the first sunny day when I had nothing else to do, to take a walk there with Dad’s heavy duty Nikon camera in search for the last of the Momiji – the Maple trees. Most usually lose their leaves by this time in the rest of Japan. But Tokyo is warmer, and December 2008 was even warmer than before, so there were still many trees with leaves still changing their colour before dying out. Here are some photographs of what I saw…

2008-12-24T11:22:00.012+05:30

One day, when I was jaded with studies, I sat daydreaming about all the things I will do when I go to Japan next. The result was the following list:

1. Karaoke to my heart’s desire.
2. Visit Nikko and Hakone.
3. Attend a Sumo match.
4. Watch a Kabuki performance.
~~5. See cosu-play at Harajuku.~~
6. Climb Mt. Fuji to the top.
~~7. Relax at an open air onsen.~~
~~8. Do purikura.~~
~~9. Eat vegetarian sushi at a kaiten-zushi place. (Kappa Maki!!)~~
~~10. Visit Asakusa and drop 100yen at Senso-ji.~~
~~11. Take a walk around Inokashira Park.~~
12. Go to Tokyo Disneyland.
~~13. Play Taiko Drums at a game center.~~
14. See Sapporo Snow Festival.
~~15. Try new Starbucks flavours.~~
~~16. Visit Ueno Zoological gardens and the various Museums in Ueno.~~
~~17. Eat ice-cream mochi!~~
~~18. Buy a Daruma.~~
~~19. Call up all my friends in Okinawa and surprise them!~~

now I am doing these activities... some are not possible now - like climb Fuji to the top (as it is closed for the winters) but am trying to do as many...I will keep crossing them out as I accomplish them. let's see.... gambare to me!

blogs will follow... :)

A Game of Tag

2008-12-20T14:24:00.005+05:30

I have been Tagged by Rachel to write 7 strange/random things about myself. It was really difficult. First to think of them. Second to muster up courage to declare them! Here they are:

1. I am addicted to games. I don't own a wii or a DS. The last gaming unit I owned was the old style Nintendo bought in 1990 which had Mario Brothers and the duck/clay shooting thing. I also had a hand held Peanuts Tennis video game and a falling-fish-to-catch-in-the-pot video game, but they were forcibly gifted to cousins before I could have enough of them. It was so long ago that I don't even remember if those video games had a special name.. But I don't dare buy any new units because I know of my addiction. Already I could waste all my valuable time playing on the computer or my mobile, and that too without much guilt. Sometimes I bribe myself to work straight for an hour to get to play one game of mah jong to get my work done.

2. I have visions of head banging to heavy metal inside the Metro. I have come close to doing it, but I think it will just look very foolish and make people stare more than they already do. And staring faces always take the fun out of anything..

3. I am revolted by the sound of burping. More disgusted by it than any other sound in the world! Especially while I am eating, and if someone burps, I just can't eat anymore. I have to start counting in my head or think nice thoughts before my world gets back to normal. And in my joint family's house, most of my uncles burp very loudly. They also try to mask it by saying 'omm' at the same time (this is one those North Indian things..).It just drives me nuts!

4. I think about death quite a lot. So, I know the exact way I would commit suicide if I had to. I would simple walk into the sea. (I know, very Virginia Woolf of me.. ) I would wear some white-coloured cotton outfit and the single conch shell necklace I made. I would be reciting "Death be not Proud" by John Donne. And I would have taken some sleeping pills before to ease the struggle with water to breathe...

this brings me to the fifth one:

5. If I don't commit suicide before I die, I want to have a burial at sea after I die. I don't want to be cremated, nor do I want to be buried in the earth. I want my body to be slipped into the sea not covered in any bag or coffin. I know the thought of being fish-food is kinda scary, but aren't being burned up or locked up for eternity in a box equally bad? Once dead I can hardly know pain, so I take the ecologically best solution.
Oh, I also want a recitation of "Death be not Proud" for my 'funeral'.

6. I am intrigued by incest. I wonder whether it is really wrong. I think it is, but what if its OK as long as it doesn't end up with biological reproduction of a monstrous being.. Just the same with sexual promiscuity. I think it might be wrong but heck! it is so interesting. Stories about both revolt and at the same time delight (in terms of complexity - not pornographic delight...). This ambiguity for me is highly interesting. It gets me all confused and my 'morals' go topsy-turvy. I don't have a brother, so maybe that's why incest seems OK in theory (maybe... perhaps...). I really can't say... But I love the debate.

7. Last. I am a collector. I love collecting things. Stamps, coins, rocks, shells, countries, books, movies, audio albums, stickers, stationery, greeting cards, you name it. I thinks its like the same compulsion that makes me want to make lists and organise things. If I have one thing, how many of its various kinds can be possible to be grouped together? It's like an insane drive to have and possess. But I am highly proud of my stamp collection nonetheless. And whoever inherits it after I die must take great care of it! :)

That's the list. Now, I tag Isa, Varsha, Rajarshi, Elina, and Liz. Keep it going people!

Centenary Celebrations of Hindi-Urdu Teaching in Japan

2008-12-16T13:53:00.003+05:30

Tokyo University of Foreign Studies, Japan celebrated the 100 years of Hindi Urdu Teaching in Japan. It was the perhaps the very first university in the world to initiate the teaching of Hindustani language in the year 1908. In 1958, Hindi and Urdu began being taught separately. From December 12-14, 2008 a conference was held in order to celebrate this momentous event.

on my mind

2008-12-05T18:48:00.004+05:30

There is plenty that I need to write about, but didn't have the time, what with packing for my trip and worrying about my upcoming Dissertation.

The tension is in the uncertainty. We are made to submit 3 proposals all in different areas of interest. Now this is a Dissertation with counts for 3 times its grades in the overall grading. It will be the primary source of questions for the viva at the end of the course. It is also one that could potentially be an abstract for our future PhD. Thus, it is not a simple paper one just writes up. Its a 25,000 word pain-in-the-ass. So, when we are made to write 3 proposals of what we can work on, its no joking matter. But there is a joke... we don't really have any guarantee that our first preference will be taken up by a supervisor. Earlier, one could state preference for a supervisor, go to him/her and speak/discuss the topic, get feedback/suggestions. Also, this meant that chances of your first preference being chosen were strong. This time, due to some reason, the department decided they will not let students approach teachers. Which means that maybe there might be no teacher enthusiastic about my first choice. or my second choice. and I may end up with my third which I wrote just for the heck of it. My first two topics are quite radical. or at least they seem so to me when I think if there will be anyone interested in them. so I am going nuts over whether my first will be given to me. At this point I really don't care who my supervisor is, as all the teachers are world-class and quite helpful. I wouldn't want someone I never worked with or studied under, but I wouldn't mind it as long I get the first! There might be a meeting and I will miss it as I am leaving. Also, I may not really have an opportunity to negotiate if I am not around. So I have been in worry-mode these past few days.

As for the trip, it seems doomed from the start. Flying on December 6, the day of the anniversary of the demolition of Babri Masjid.... The airport is under tight security as intelligence agencies alert us of 9/11 style hijacking and attacks.... We will cross our fingers and hope for the best. Packing is ongoing and I will write more again. Need to write a blog on the Mumbai attacks and the 7 strange things tag!! coming soon...

I voted!

2008-11-29T17:15:00.002+05:30

OK, this relates to the American elections 2008... old news.... BUT I like the end, which stands true for today. 7th minutes onwards.... I did my duty today and voted in the Delhi Elections. Although I don't put too much faith in the power of elections in India - all parties are truly and wholeheartedly corrupt. Yet, one must select the lesser of the multiple evils...

This is a brilliant bit by one of my favourite TV personalities, and one of his funny and yet very significant monologues. I saw it a long time ago. I decided to embed it here, because it doesn't matter whether its about another country, the democratic process is the same! and besides, I just needed a reason to put Craig Ferguson on my blog! :)

Firsts in the metro:

2008-11-24T18:36:00.002+05:30

A record of weird/sad sights and smells while travelling in the Metro (on different days):

A woman breastfeeding her baby during World Breastfeeding week.
A locust steadily spirally climbing the support pole to the top.
The nauseating smell of unboiled milk every time the doors opened for each station.
Two butterflies flitting around inside.
A woman from a very low-income group pissing her baby inside the compartment.
A man in a wheelchair (seen on the same day I found barrier-free constructions in my Alma Mater)
On Independence Day (15th Aug 2008), the AirCon's electric circuit shorted at Ram Krishna Ashram Marg. There were many strange bomb-blast-like sounds and visible electric sparks. Everyone rushed out the Metro in panic. Earlier the train had stopped in the middle a couple of times. When the driver signaled everyone to board the train, he announced that the first two compartments will have no air conditioning.

Soaps and Cleansers

2008-11-13T16:49:00.003+05:30

There is a battle being waged these days in Mumbai. It is between producers of Hindi soap operas and the set workers, who are opposing the outdated pay they get for their services. It has resulted in a total shutdown of shooting, thus the lack of new episodes for airing. I embrace this third kind of 'meltdown'. (The term has been made much famous in light of the economic crisis rather than the real issue - the global warming one! So I take the liberty of further trivializing it! pardons to anyone offended by me)

The best thing about this meltdown of soaps is the peace, quiet and serenity in the temple of my home. Having to spend most of my time at home was driving me crazy for the simple reason that every day my mother had the TV on for longer than time itself, with the perpetual background music of the soaps seeping into my closed room regardless of heavy wooden doors! Usually I am not bothered by noise. But this was insane! She would watch reruns in the day and they repeated the same crap all over again twice at different times!! From morning to night in an endless loop, one soap after the other!! Is it not enough to see the episode once, get to know how the story has progressed (or rather in this case - digressed with another devious intrigue plotted with the same might as of a chess move) and then wait for the new episode? Does one really have to see the same episode twice again the next day? How difficult is it to retain the no-brainer 'stories' of these endless soaps anyway?

I know this doesn't bode well for my mom - who is being depicted as one of those moronic desperate housewives sitting at home with nothing to do except watch TV! Interestingly, my mom was never like this only recently she has been getting there. She never was interested in TV much. But she has a tendency to bow down under peer pressure! Yes! She goes to these weekly kirtans - a sort of prayer sessions with songs sung in gods' celebration. There she meets these other aunties of the Society. And obviously after so much religion, they have to gossip and chat about the latest episode of this or that and what sari was worn by the females! Thus, a victim to peer pressure my mom started watching soaps so she will not be left behind in these conversations, and is now officially hooked. Before them, it was the endless music reality shows (like American Idol). Especially the ones with children competing. My mom loves children and loves to see them sing and dance. She thinks its all very cute. She would get emotional for their sad lives shown for generating sympathy. She thought it was really real. Poor mom. She had to have her maternal-ness being shouted at by me accusing her of enjoying child labour!

When the strike first occured 2 days ago, I rejoiced. All I needed more was for the reality shows to stop as well, and I would be walking on air. But alas! the TV channels keep repeating the old episodes - flashbacks they call them! And once again my locked and bolted room is not clean of the uninvited soaps sounds.

falling from out of ennui..

2008-10-26T20:34:00.003+05:30

Just when you think that life has absolutely no excitement, thrill, adventure and life seems to be endless series of daily drudgery.... something falls from the sky.

Literally, in this case, a four year old child from the sixth floor (American seventh floor).

I was going along with my mom and sis to give the traditional Diwali gift to family friends. Our hired car had only reached the main gate - the entrance to our Apartment complex - when suddenly a woman with frantic gestures stopped us. When mom rolled down her window, the woman told us that a child had fallen from above and she was new to the Society and didn't know who's child it was, so if we could identify him and do something... We rushed out (in semi-disbelief), but could not recognise the child. He had fallen on a parked car and then on to the concrete. He was still alive though unconscious. The gate guards and the ironing lady and other people there were trying to help but there was more panic and a loss of words and actions. None of us really knew what to do except to get him to a hospital quick. Our driver instantly picked up the boy and wanted to take him to the hospital. I told the guards to try the intercom numbers of all the apartments in that line to find out if the child was theirs. In this time, a man came down and took the child from our driver. He turned out to be the father. In panic, we sat in the car to go to the hospital. As we were about to go a woman started banging on the car windows. She turned out to be the mother. They didn't speak Hindi and were guests of one of the Society members, having come here for the same purpose we were heading out - distribution of Diwali gifts.

When we reached the hospital, my mom told my sister to guide them up to the Emergency ward since they probably didn't know the place. My sis said that the child was groaning in the lift but didn't seem to recover consciousness. My sis came back to the car, only to find that our driver had disappeared. We were already running late for our tasks and these events didn't help. The driver was late in reporting to us, then the child fell, then the driver went up to the hospital trying to find out what was going on, and when we were on our way, one of the tyres got punctured!!

It was an eventful day. But more tragic if anything. The Diwali festival is ruined for a family as their child struggles to live. We can only pray for him.

Post Script: I have been late in publishing this post, and on this day I have sad news. The boy succumbed to the injuries he sustained after struggling for 4 days in the ICU. May he rest in peace...

My Kafkaesque Day

2008-10-23T23:19:00.004+05:30

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. Everything was going as usual. I had woken late and had had a good breakfast as I read the newspaper. Suddenly, out of the blue, I get this strange call. Its from someone with a very strong Jat accent. (Jat is the name of a community of people from Haryana (an Indian State) and these people are known for their aggressive we-don't-care-a shit-for anyone-but-ourselves attitude.) This man said he was a Court Official and he was summoning me to the Court. There were accusations levied on me under three sections and I had to appear at Delhi High Court within an hour with an Identity proof and a certain amount of money.

I, of course, thought all this was a joke. I kept repeating to myself, "This is a prank." Sometimes people play a prank on others on live radio. I kept a serious tone, and did not burst into laughter, even though I was on the verge of it.

I asked the guy what exactly was up and he replied suggesting that he was shocked I didn't know anything of this. I demanded whether a written summons was delivered to me, and he mumbled something. I couldn't understand most of what he was saying anyway because he was talking in an accent I run away from. I don't have any friends who speak like that. It is an extremely rude accent and decent human beings do not speak in it. So, I asked him to wait and handed the phone to mom to speak with him. She got very scared. She was trembling, but still she was able to understand him better than me. The man gave a telephone number of some advocate and asked her to speak with about this issue.

We instantly called up my very resourceful uncle. We told him of the call and gave him all the information we had - the name of the advocate, his number, and the number where I got the call from. My uncle asked me whether there was any credit card amount I owed. This was a strange question, as I don't have a credit card; I don't wish to ever in my life own a credit card; and recently I got a call from ICICI bank saying that I had applied for a credit card, they had all my info, and were checking up on the address. It was weird that my uncle made a link with the Court Official's call I got and a credit card bill as I could see no connection whatsoever.

My uncle explained that this type of thing had happened with him over an unpaid credit card bill and that companies forward this to recovery agents who extort the money and their fees from the faulty customers.

The strangest part in all this was that I had never applied for an ICICI credit card but they had my full name, my home phone number and my old address. They were adamant on taking my cellphone number, which I was refusing to give because I had suffered stupid 'frensip' calls to the point where I wanted a new cell number. I had gotten rid of those calls by actually making someone - a male friend - call back the dude and scold him with a Jat accent!!! I kept saying speak to me on this phone. And interestingly, after talking to me, they called up my uncle to get my cellphone number when I refused to give it. My uncle called to tell that he given it and I became furious. There were too many confusing aspects to this:

How did ICICI Bank have all my info - name address telephone - when I never applied?
How did they have my home number AND my uncle's number?
Why were they adamant to have my cell number?
How come they used a specific line in the address "near Arya Samaj Temple" - a line I never used in my old address?

My uncle set his men on the task and they found out the business. It was over some Airtel bill. My sister used a postpaid cellphone plan which was in my name. She had recently changed the same number to another plan in her own name. But she had made all the payments and cleared all dues before doing so, as of course, they wouldn't have changed it in the first place if she hadn't. Thus, it was a definite breach of trust on Airtel's part for having forwarded a bill to a recovery agent! We all were very furious. Especially as the bill amount was a measly 230 rupees. My sister never used her phone for that small an amount and we searched all the past bills, there was no bill for that amount. And we were certain that it was Airtel because my uncle had included the line "near Arya Samaj Temple" when he got the connection for me!

In the night when my sis came back home, and we discussed the matter completely, she called up Airtel's customer service and asked them what bill was due and when they said none, she gave them the best calm and serene scolding I have ever heard in my life! How dare they put us into such trouble for something they said didn't exist! We have been loyal Airtel customers. We don't even look elsewhere. Everybody in the family has an Airtel service. My mausaji is Airtel's fourth customer since it first started! I, freaking, owned a phone which had some 1000 rupees on it, which I lost while in Okinawa! And they put us to such trouble over Rs. 230?? Airtel probably does business in multi-billions of rupees and it forwards 230 rupee bills to recovery agents who threaten people! Despicable! Abominable behaviour on Airtel's part! Makes me sick to be an Airtel customer!

Dear Reader, I know my day was not so Kafkaesque even though I term it so. The Trial didn't really happen. I have not been sacrificed without a meaningful death. But something has died. A trust, a belief. I don't know how many countless insults like this happens everyday across the country. But I am certain that if very such a thing happens again, Airtel will be hearing from a Court Official next, when I sue their corporate asses for such a shameful deed on their part!

2008-10-13T02:20:00.002+05:30

why does it have to hurt
when we touch the oven,
the heat that warms the stomach
and eases hunger pangs?

2008-10-12T13:05:00.001+05:30

uninspired and dry
I still attempt to write
a little line or a tiny word
of nothingness.

2008-10-11T00:49:00.000+05:30

There is smell of smoke and a crispness in the air.

The days are getting shorter, but festive energy abounds.

It can mean only one thing - Diwali is here!

2008-10-10T19:00:00.001+05:30

Little flames on the cake,
you signify mortality.
But ah! sweet is the anticipation
to blow you out!

2008-10-09T01:00:00.002+05:30

the iridescent shell

is shattered

the flawed pearl is lost

2008-10-08T01:03:00.002+05:30

The chirping cricket kept me up all night
I tried to shut it up but in vain
Now I am very sleepy

2008-10-07T00:37:00.001+05:30

a patch of blue
is all we need
to ease the summer murkiness.

2008-09-30T12:04:00.002+05:30

rainbows in the eye
as a teardrop forms
sadness of the lonely

freeze

2008-09-18T02:02:00.004+05:30

Imagine such a thing happening at Rajiv Chowk Metro Station...

...anybody game?

nostalgia

2008-09-16T08:57:00.002+05:30

when words don't come easily
when every nerve in the body
has been sensitized by pain
when the throat chokes
and the bile increase
when tears don't flow easily
when you gasp for air
and a little deliverance
enter the empty space where memories disappear

blind faith

2008-08-27T00:22:00.002+05:30

I was tested today. It was a test in blind faith in another human being... well, actually a family.

I was walking back home from the market this evening. The sun had gone down in a blaze of red and it was dark by the time I reached the road to my apartment complex. Just outside the complex, I saw a man with his wife and the wife holding a baby in her arms. They were looking very lost and as I approached them, something inside me wanted to ask them what was wrong, and if I could help in any way. I held back and didn't ask. But the man spoke up as I passed by, and asked if I could speak Marathi (a regional language of India, primarily spoken in the state called Maharashtra). I said no. Hindi? yes. He said some men ran off with their money and they were stranded in Delhi without food, without shelter. He is a house painter, but obviously could not find work at that time of day. They looked working class, but were not in rags. They were hungry and thirsty and tired, but worst, they were dejected. He expressed his pain at having come to beg like this and asked for money to go back to Maharashtra. He said he would send the money back if I could give an address where to send it.

I was uncomfortable. I thought maybe they needed directions to get somewhere. I would have gladly helped with that. But when it came to money, I get very uncomfortable. Even with beggars, I have mixed feelings. I want to help, but is my loose change actually helping? In India, we are made to distrust beggars from a very young age. Maybe we have so many beggars that those who are in a better financial condition simply create this distrust in order not to succumb to each and every one of them, even those who perhaps in all probability are actually destitute.

Most crucial is the question: Will giving money to a beggar actually propel him/her to work instead of simply begging? Some actually have day jobs at construction sites and beg by night for a few extra rupees. Or set their innumerable children to do the begging at streetlights, markets and tourist spots.

My oldest memory of a beggar is when we were travelling somewhere. I was maybe 4 or 5 yrs old. It was winters. And we were eating. This little boy who was about 4-5 years old too, and had absolutely no clothes on his impoverished body came to us. My mom gave him some of the food we had. He went away, but left behind a string of uncomfortable questions and an unerasable trace in my mind. "Why is he naked, mummy? Why does he ask for food? Where are his parents? Why is he poor? What is poor? Why don't all people have money? How can we remove poverty, mummy?" My mom never had any final and conclusive answers for me. One question always led to another. Even today, do we have any answers? There isn't any answer.

But these people, were just better-dressed beggars, con-men, or actually in real trouble? There is no answer to this question either. It was simply a matter of trusting their word. I offered food. He said someone gave them biscuits. I said I couldn't give them money, I was a student... He asked if there was any other person who could help... I said, ok, wait, I will try.

I came upstairs. quickly filled a small bottle with milk for the baby, and a larger bottle with cold water. put them in a polybag. got out a 100 rupee note from my wallet and went back down. They were still there, waiting for me. The security guard saw it all, as I showed the milk and water and money to the man, said it was all that I could do and left. I didn't give him much time to feel embarrassed at the charity nor did I receive profuse thanks. I walked away still feeling confused, telling myself I did good. I had more than a hundred rupees worth cake and multi-grain bread in my hand when I encountered them. It was a luxury that I would consume without a thought. But for these, a hundred rupees may mean more than anything at this moment. (Rs. 100 is less than $2.50, about 300 yen, it is a small amount in USA or Japan, but most working class Indians don't earn that much in a day.)

I don't know if I did right. I thought, let me trust and have blind faith in their word. I don't know if I did right because it is a human tendency to distrust. But I also feel naive. I am trusting someone I don't know and giving them a big amount of money. (normally one would give Rs. 5 to a beggar, or 10 in some cases). I didn't feel completely happy with what I did. Only because I feel everyone else would tell me I am stupid to have given in. I felt guilty telling my sister, even though she said it was ok. She didn't say I was silly. I don't know why in this case I need approval from others. I never usually do. I listen to my instincts and go with it. Why should I feel that maybe I have been duped? They really did look lost and I wanted to help. So I did. Was it wrong of me to? Is it wrong of me to be having these thoughts?

I console myself that I do not go to temples and offer donations, but have done something that is in a way equivalent to that blind faith. And maybe I have done more good than giving at a temple, if it helps this family. I always become angry at the hordes of people who go to temples and in the name of offerings give away more than they would to a person in need.

There was once a major event when many Hindus all over the city received calls early in the morning, that Ganeshas will drink milk today. The news spread like wildfire. And everyone went to their neighbourhood temples to offer milk to Ganeshji. I cannot count how many litres of milk was sold, and touched to the lips of that stone idol, and wasted by countless people. I refused to go. My friends came to summon me so we could go together, and I said it was bullshit, and that I would rather give the milk to a poor and hungry person. My friends were horrified at my atheism and I didn't care. I was proud to be above these silly mortals. I was proud that my family (mom, dad and sis - i.e. excluding relatives) did not go to feed Ganesh. I always believe in paying it forward - to my peers, to my fellow human beings - not to an unknown and unknowable God. I had an opportunity today to put my belief in action.

If religion is blind faith, then my religion is believing in human beings. There are doubts in this religion as in any other. Doubts that undermine the faith. Faith that has to fight its way.

Question is - have I passed the test of faith?

Rakhi

2008-08-17T13:26:00.008+05:30

In this day and age, I find some customs really silly. One of them occurs on the festival day of Raksha Bandhan. Sisters tie a Rakhi on their brother's wrist, do tika, give a dry coconut and the brothers give money/gift and promise to protect them in return... The main good this festival does, is that it gives an opportunity to meet up with family members and relatives. I would usually not bother with the useless ceremony, but I live in family of strong beliefs and so I cannot hurt their feelings.

I don't have any real brother of my own, but I have 4 cousins - 2 born to my dad's younger brother, and 2 born to my mom's 2 brothers. There is also the little boy of a family we met in Mauritius and are close to. They share our ancestral surname - Agarwal, and thus, felt that we are all one family. Mohit, the boy wanted Didi and I to tie Rakhi on him, so we have been sending Rakhies by post.

This year, only he and my youngest cousin were available. The other 3 were out of Delhi. This youngest cousin, Krishna, is a 5-year old bunch of naughtiness which drives me insane. He never listens and always does the opposite of what you tell him to do. I got toy rakhies for him this year, ie, it was a ribbon with small toys stuck on it. Of course, they were torn out the minute they were tied! When he went to the market with Mamu (my uncle, his dad), we girls had loads of fun racing the cars.

We went to a new part of Delhi to meet the other 'brother'. I hadn't met them in a long time and the kids are so grown up that I felt very old! Ashi was a few months old when I first saw her and played with her! and Mohit was 4-5 years old. Time flies so fast, and meeting them made me realise how long ago it was when I lived in Mauritius.

When coming back home, a really embarrassing thing happened! A guy was sitting on a seat reserved for ladies. I challenged my sister to ask him to vacate the seat. She said, forget it, poor brother, today let him enjoy the seat. And I said, on the other hand, at least on this day, the brothers should be vacating seats for their sisters. And maybe I spoke too loudly, for the guy sitting with his mom stood up shamefaced. I think I blushed a very deep-red because I was just saying in general and the look on his face was as if I had directed my words at him alone!

Later that night, my sister's 'brother' treated us to dinner at the Air Warrior's Club at the Air Force base in Delhi. It was just like entering Camp Schwab in Okinawa for me. Sarthak's dad is in the Indian Air Force, so he has a 'base pass' :) ...good times..

baby jamun

2008-08-10T11:53:00.004+05:30

I sowed a Jamun seed about a month ago. And have waited patiently for this day. My mom had given up hope and wanted to use the pot for something else. But I persevered. This morning I woke up and went to see how me plants were doing, and behold...

am feeling like a proud parent.... :)

awesome day...

2008-08-09T23:21:00.007+05:30

I had made a list of things to do post-papers and I was able to strike off two items from it today:

1. Watch "The Dark Knight" and,
2. Go somewhere fun.

My sis, her 'brother' and I headed off to Saket to watch the movie. We got horrible seats even though we came two hours before to buy them! My neck still hasn't recovered :( ! From next time, I shall definitely book tickets online! Last time you know what happened (read the previous blog post...) ergo, I am not taking chances, my movie luck seems to have gotten depleted.

So... The movie was awesome. Everyone kept saying its very dark. I didn't think so. It was, but not so much that that would be its only quality. The story was what excited me most. I guess for Batman fans it would have been so obvious with Harvey Dent flipping his coin. But I realized he would be Two-Face only when his face actually catches fire. I never read the comics and Batman has always been just another superhero for me. I guess being a girl who is more into literature, comic books come second and aren't very important. Thus the way the story was reinterpreted in the movies have been very exciting. I also liked that in Nolan's version, Gotham City is like any present-day metropolitan city. Not like previous versions where it has been fictionalized into this magical, unrealistic dream landscape almost. I liked that the characters were realistic and relatable. I don’t remember what the name is, but the Batman movie with Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy… Or Jim Carey overacting as the Riddler... it just reduced the action to banal ridiculous events with the overdone fantasy elements.

From my mobile phone camera:

And Heath was great! I still can't believe he is no more. Why did his last movie have had to be the one in which his handsome face was covered...?

Aside: While watching the movie, I had my cell phone in my lap. I didn’t realize when it slipped off and suddenly when I realized I didn’t have it, I panicked. My sis showed me light with hers and I found my dear old big fat mobile under the seat in front of me. I came so close to losing it, my heart nearly stopped! It’s the worst thing that could happen to me. Thank God it didn’t happen!

And I found my second favourite Barista drink - Swiss Mocha Frappe! (the one in the center)

After the movie, we headed off to Gurgaon in search of this Karaoke place Sarthak had seen while driving by. After getting stuck in traffic and having to take plenty U-turns we finally reached it, and it turned out to be so expensive! The deal was, you hire the room and order food worth at least Rs. 5000 (about $110) and you can sing for an unlimited time period. And you have to book one day at least in advance for it. We were only 3 people and we had 3 hours before the place closed. So it wasn’t worth the big bucks... Maybe I will go another time, if there are more people to split the cost between us and more time to enjoy the food and singing.

Instead of Karaoke, we settled for bowling, go-carting, pool and air-hockey. It was a day of firsts: My first time ever coming to Gurgaon. Finding a Karaoke place in India was also a first. The very first bowling experience in India for me (and I have bowled only 3 times before that). First time playing air-hockey and I beat my sister with seven goals! It was also my very first go-carting experience, which I did not enjoy very much. My leg was cramped, I was hot, and the arm band was icky, and the helmet kept covering my eyes! I did 3 laps and didn’t care for the other 7 that had been paid for. My sis took my turns and I was glad to be sitting out!

Even though I didn’t enjoy go-carting, the day was fun overall. :)

you know... or know not!

2008-08-05T03:01:00.010+05:30

A long over due blog on the only typical Bollywood movie I love---

It is called Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na. The post title is the literal translation of the name of this movie. A more meaningful title would perhaps be - whether you know, or you don't.

It has all those unrealistic elements that go into making a bollywood movie. All those elements that usually make me pull my hair with frustration. It has typical song-and-dance sequences; a talking portrait; two rude men in Cowboy-Western wear riding horses to nightclubs (who later turn out to be otherwise); it also has that stupid stop-her-from-leaving airport climax; and it also has some overacting. And yet, it was all directed brilliantly. The script is tight and kept one involved throughout. The humour was in good taste and the dramatic scenes nail-biting. (You might be thinking, well isn't this obvious? Ah! but you see, most Hindi films that are considered good, don't always have humour in good taste and nail-biting dramatic scenes.... ) The most amazing thing was that I am usually annoyed by clichés; but, in this movie, those very clichés had been redone brilliantly and by the end of the movie I wanted to see it again!

(Papu Can't Dance? I think he can and HAS! ;P )

I had actually gone to seen The Dark Knight with Isa, but when we reached the cinema, all the tickets were sold out! So we decided to go see Jaane Tu, even though Isa had already seen it on her computer. We went to another Cinema hall for that. Thankfully we got tickets there as we arrived there 2 and a half hours early for the show. We spent the time eating and shopping.

The movie started at 7:30 and ended at 10:25 pm. I was afraid I would miss the last train to Dwarka. We ran from the hall and I had to say excuse so many times and navigate my way through hordes of people who didn't understand my urgency! They were climbing down the staircase so slowly!! I thankfully reached 3 mins before the last train came and reached home like 11:45! That was the most late I have even come back home alone in Delhi! If I had missed the train, I would have had to go with Isa, as there were more trains for her stop. But I didn't want to do that. We had guests from USA at home, and plus, I didn't really want to go to the hostel that night.

I reached home safe and sound, met the guests, got a good humoured scolding from parents and was still happy because of the nice time I had had with my dear friend :) And because there can be an occasional clear blue sky and amazing sunset in Delhi :

Mr. Locust, you will scare Dali away!

2008-08-04T22:00:00.004+05:30

My Mint plant had a visitor the other day...

Auld Lang Syne

2008-07-29T23:24:00.000+05:30

yesterday night I found online one of my batch-mates from my old school. We have been keeping in touch through chat occasionally. Actually, I usually disappear for long durations and then when I resurface, we have a long conversation catching up with each others fast-paced lives. Yesterday we had a particularly interesting conversation recalling the good ole school times. And there was one particular incident that involved the two of us...

See, the story goes like this: We barely spoke to each other in class for the four-five years we studied together. At that time most boys and girls were still excessively shy around each other. So, while in school, I hardly knew this person. After loosing touch for 8 years, he initiated a chat with me some four years back. We had both joined a school batch mates group and came in contact again. Although I haven’t seen him in over 12 yrs, he is now a good friend.

While reminiscing about school days, I didn’t remember as many people and incidents as he did because I changed schools twice after class nine and I even moved to a new country for my A levels! He reminded me of this very embarrassing event in my school life - an event I shared with him: We both took a supplementary exam together.

These exams were held for those students who were either absent on the day of the exam or had not passed it the first time. Both of us were NOT in either of these categories. But by default everyone around would think that we failed the exam, and therefore, it was embarrassing! I, for one, was mortified. I was never the best student in class, but I was not one to fail exams either. I usually did moderately better than most. I wasn’t hardworking and diligent. I would spend all my time reading fiction, hardly bothering myself with homework! But I was not blasé enough to not care about failing or passing. It was a matter of big shame to get low marks! and failing was the pinnacle of humiliation.

Anyway, what really happened was that we both landed up at school to take the exam the day after it had already been held! I had forgotten about this episode until my friend reminded me of it yesterday! I spoke to my mom about it today and even she remembered it! And she told me that dad didn’t scold me the first time it happened (how could he? I came home red having cried my eyes out at a friends place coz I couldn’t go home directly!!). My dad chose to scold me after I came back from the supplementary. And I was mollified in retorting I wasn’t alone in this mistake! :)

It’s amazing what the mind wishes to keep stored up there. It’s been twelve years since it occurred, but I never thought I might forget this affair when it happened the first time round. It took my mother and a person whom I never thought that I’d be good friends with in future, to remind me of this small chapter in my life. It was funny remembering this stupid incident. And all this while I had not even realized it was this guy I was chatting with for 4 years who was the same guy I shared that mistake. And it’s probably the only interaction we had in school!

I was rolling on the floor laughing out loud yesterday chatting. It was nice. I haven’t laughed like this in a while. :)

Reason for a Headache

2008-07-28T23:21:00.003+05:30

I went shopping with my cousins today. Even though I hate shopping, that's not really the reason for the most massive headache I have suffered from in a long while. I actually initiated this spree as I really was in need of stuff. Have been living minimalistically for some while now - just one pair of jeans, 2-3 shirts, and a pair of floaters!

When returning, less that 3 kms away from home, I got stuck is a massive traffic jam because the red-light at the crossing had stopped working. Of course every single one wanted to go and not stop to let anyone else pass. It resulted in the worst jam I have been in in a while. Some wise man actually came out and tried to resolve the confusion, and I wish there were awards for such pro-active citizens! I wanted to call the police but my cell phone signals disappeared. That has never happened to me before. I tried calling my dad and sis but how could I with no signal... What bewildered me most was that for the longest time there was no traffic cop in sight to resolve the mess! We have faced bomb blasts in two major cities of the country on 2 consecutive days, and 500 people have died because of terrorist attacks in the past year, and every time we are told that security is being tightened. What utter crap! What kind of security is it if a policeman is unavailable for over 20 minutes with over 500 vehicles mixed up and lined up at a major crossing??

The truth is that in a country with the 2nd largest population in the world, there is absolutely no value for life. So what if a few die, when there are more than 100 being born every minute? It is disgusting but our intelligence agencies are full of shit. Corruption is rampant and work is limited to how much can go into one;s pocket. The attitude is "Who cares anyway for something that is not benefiting me" and it is ingrained in every one of us. I mean, if people actually cared for the greater good, would there be such a jam in the first place?

Dali is awesome! So is Marquez!

2008-07-27T13:00:00.005+05:30

Recently, I finished and turned in a 4000-word research paper on the representational similarities between Salvador Dali and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The basic point of the paper was to draw the commonalities of Surrealism in the paintings of Dali and of Magic Realism in Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude; the way in which imagination is deployed by the two in order to portrait the universal themes that cut across cultures; and the depiction/manipulation of time.

And I am still preoccupied with these great people's work.... I am reading Love in the Time of Cholera, and desperately searching for Destino, an animation project by Disney and Dali. the videos exist on YouTube but they aren't the best quality...

wrong Konnections

2008-07-23T13:43:00.007+05:30

so yesterday a good friend and I went to see a movie. We saw Kismet Konnection. Though we really wanted to see another film more than this one, yet our urge to see any movie was stronger. The promos had seemed alright and I haven't been reading the papers these past few days so I didn't know what the critics had to say about it. It was a Hindi Bollywood film so naturally I had my doubts. But, the actor of this movie, Shahid Kapoor has blossomed into a gorgeous hunk (which means I didn't think much of him before his last film - Jab We Met) and I didn't mind ogling and drooling at him for a while ;P !!! And he did look good in this movie too. But, his looks could not save the movie as he overacted many a times.

The actress, Vidya Balan is amazingly beautiful, and photogenic, but, she didn't look that good in the movie, my friend and I discussed (since we had nothing else better to do during the movie) and came to the conclusion that she needed a better hairdo, a better bra, a gym membership and a more serious acting roles. Her hair was done in a way to make her look younger than Shahid, but she still looked older. She was made to wear bras and corset tops to make her figure look better, that failed as well. She has what Indians would call 'a heavy lower body', she isn't fat, but she looks so in western dresses. She looked gorgeous in Parineeta which was a period film, so she had worn mostly Indian clothes.

The story wasn't too great and even though there wasn't anything original about it, it could have been rendered a thousand times better. The acting, the editing and direction overall was so particularly bad that the story just could not be saved!

It was supposed to be a light, fun, romantic comedy, BUT:
the comic scenes didn't work,
there wasn't much chemistry between the two (she just looked older),
the over-acting made it a pain to watch, and
the movie was so light that it was nothing just fluff and mindlessness.

(The traditional from-my-phone-camera-photo, therefore, not the best quality...)

The most interesting part was that we went to see it at a bad movie theater. Which meant it was cheap and run-down and just really bad! We were told to keep our bags out; they had a token system storage thing at the back. We went through this shady, narrow lane to the place, only to discover it was a man sitting on bare wooden takht (which is like a low table, but in India we put a mattress and cylindrical pillows and use it as a sitting place). My friend and I had doubts, as I was carrying a laptop. We decided to put my bag into her's but upside down so that if one would open, it would take some effort to reach the comp. It wasn’t full-proof safe, but we decided to take a chance. When we went to back to it to deposit it, a policeman was also sitting in the takht. He asked if there was any laptop and I hesitatingly told him yes. Then he said we can take it in, they will just check it. All this was due to the ‘strict’ security checks at public places.

Anyhow, during the movie, when a song would start, the lower regions would start howling and whistling, but because the songs were not really sleazy, the noise just fizzled out like a bad cola. And people clapped for the most stupid things! When people go watch a movie out here, they do so to have fun. Because really, there aren’t many places the middle and lower class man can go for entertainment. There aren’t affordable places for enjoyment that also are safe for women. Either its such upper-class stuff, where I don’t fit in as I am too chilled out and happy-go-lucky a person to buy branded stuff and be all snooty page three! Or it’s the roadside “Wine and Beer” shops that cater to the low class. So where does the middle class go?

I complain about lack of fun-spots (to myself mostly), because my friends don’t really go to bars or clubs and I would not go there alone. I want to have the company of friend to have fun... And actually I don't even like bars and clubs so much, just wish there was go-carting, or ice-skating rinks, or bowling alleys, or gaming centers (with purikura and taiko drums!) or... u get my drift!

I wish there were Karaoke places here like in Japan - affordable and accessible. Most of all, I wish there was more safety for women so we could go out without having a male escort to protect us. Yesterday, I came home at quarter to eleven in the night, but I could do so only because of the Metro. And still my parents worried about how I will get back home! If there was a safe environment, maybe parents would allow their kids to go out more, and that would create a demand for more places, and having more places means that the overall standard would increase n price would decrease; and it would also allow men to see women for who they are and not merely sex objects, thereby increasing security!

effects of time

2008-07-05T14:42:00.000+05:30

the butt-end of the affair!

2008-06-30T17:31:00.002+05:30

so, I went and took the UGC NET again! This was the fifth time. One of my friend was saying that we get 30 goes at it. I don't think I shall be wasting time trying to reach that target!! I have become fed-up of this bi-annual pain in the ass. It so frustrating. This time, there was a question -
How many keys are there at least on the keyboard? a) 91 b)101 c)111 d)121
Yes, my future as a university lecturer depends upon whether I have sat down and counted the number of key on the keypad of the computer I am using because I have no other meaningful thing to do in life!
I am so sick of taking this stupid exam! Also, when I said "pain in the ass" I didn't just mean it figuratively. I meant it literally as well! I actually suffered from a big fat rash on my buttocks each from sitting on a tiny hard wood bench in this dilapidated school which was the exam center. They always have this exam in the worst centers and in the worst weather conditions, last Sunday of June is boiling and last Sunday of December is freezing.
If I don't clear it this time, I don't know if I have the will left in me to give it again! I did relatively better than last time I gave it. Well, I heard last time nobody we know cleared it, so there! That exam was particularly bad. Keeping my fingers crossed...

I do have a piece of good news. After I came back home, I went for a medical check-up downstairs. The Medical team of an NGO had come to our apartment building. They are trying to make people aware of making healthier lifestyle choices to combat the most commonly found illness of modern middle class of Delhi, like heart-diseases, obesity, diabetes etc. And I found out I have grown taller. I used to be 5 feet 4.5 inches tall, but now I am 5ft 5"! :) nothing to be so glad about actually.. but whatever. it made me happy for a while. Weight-wise I still need more time and effort.

counting calories...

2008-06-13T00:22:00.004+05:30

After a really long time I ventured out to the center of the city on Tuesday to hang out with a dear friend. We went to Khan Market - apparently one of the most expensive markets in Asia. We went to Cafe Turtle, and had their famous Rs. 180 New York Lemon Cheese Cake piece. It was quite good, maybe not worth 180 bucks for some (that a lot of money for a poor student in Delhi). I know that it was too rich - not money-wise, but rich in calories for me to be having frequently.

Yes, I am becoming one of those people who start thinking about Calories and Glycemic Indexes of food items before thinking of eating them! And, and, when I reached the most happening Metro Station - ie. Rajiv Chowk, there were banners everywhere with health tips and "use the stairs to stay fit" signs. It was like the whole world is telling me, "Go join the gym for heavens!" I have actually lost some weight gained in Okinawa since coming back, but I feel I really need to do more than just yoga! See I found out that I have a blood sugar problem. It was probably due to the food (or lack of it) in Okinawa. Before going, I had a good diet composed of all food groups (excepting meat and fish) and it was great. Once in Oki, everything went haywire. When I cooked for myself at home, it was ok. But when I went out - which was a lot, I relied on rice and veggies (read - kappa maki). At school I was sometimes given a heap of rice by pitying teachers. And its not like basmati rice (ie, non sticky) I would force myself to finish it coz I hate throwing food. I ended up eating more sticky rice for one lunch than I could eat in a week at times. Many times I took a bento of instant noodles to school - clearly the worst type of food choice! Some days at restaurants, I would go hungry for real food and just have a dessert. I ended up eating more carbs, starch and sugar eventually. And my alcohol consumption there also went up tremendously! I remember being tired and grumpy and moody a lot! After an ice cream, I'd be cheerful on a sugar high like never before! David even told me bluntly to get my blood sugar tested. Wish I had done it sooner! All the signs were there, and had I known sooner, I would have made wiser and healthier food decisions in time. But, better late than never... I am now doing all these and exercising too, so I can be the healthier me that I used to be 2 years ago. Just have to go join the gym now to speed up the progress, and also, to guarantee that occasional lapse in the form of a lemon cheese cake. :)

Baby Lizards Addendum

2008-06-10T18:14:00.004+05:30

You will never believe what more mischief these little creatures can get involved in!

Yesterday, My mom was directing a new housemaid as she cleaned the house. My mom lifted the cushioned seat of a small settee and Lo! Behold! a tiny lizard squished betwixt wood and foam. Someone must have sat down on it when it had smuggled itself within. The strangest part is how it got underneath the foam cushion in the first place as the settee has a square seat of stiff foam made with exact precision to fit the seat rendering absolutely no space for it to crawl within unless someone actually lifted the cushion and waited while it climbed into it to put the cushion back in place. Thus, when my dear mother saw it, she called me and asked if someone had brought a plastic lizard and placed it there to scare people. A prank I was guilty of when I was 15 years my junior.

(Don't I sound Victorian? It's because I am re-reading Villette with much enthusiasm!)

Thus my dear friends, beware of the baby lizard you may not even realize when you have killed these house gods! I no longer worry. Ever since one crawled up my precious guitar... I can't bother to take care not to kill them if it so happens to be written in their fates.

Baby Lizards...

2008-06-08T01:16:00.003+05:30

They are popping out of shells; they are crawling on the floor exposing themselves to sudden death under your feet; they are pooping crapping shitting everywhere; they are hiding behind my books menacingly; and they give absolutely no warning before dropping from the ceiling and crawling in the nicely made bed you are about to sleep in.

I am trying, trying extremely hard to co-exit with these creatures. After all they are considered house gods in Okinawa and they eat the disease-spreading mosquitoes. But seriously, these tiny lizards are driving me nuts. I am not completely phobic about lizards, but I am nonetheless always surprised by their appearance and I just wish they would be invisible to me! Some years ago, one dropped on my head as I opened the door to enter the bedroom to sleep and the tiny thing got caught in my hair and I had to take a shower in the middle of the night! Two more times before lizards have fallen and crawled down me. Can anyone blame me for not liking them??

There is another big fat one that lives atop our television set. I think its a she, and a she which produced all these tiny ones. This big fat momma always jumps out when you go near the TV to switch it off. And it jumps with a plop that makes you jump out of your skin! I may be a vegetarian and an animal lover, but I hate lizards. And all creatures are cute as babies, EXCEPT LIZARDS!!!

nothing to say...

2008-06-03T00:42:00.003+05:30

I have at least 5 entries saved in the drafts and I am unsatisfied with all of them. It seems I have nothing important or worthwhile to publish over the world wide web. can only think of selfish needs at the moment and sound utterly pathetic in doing so. a couple of days back, my mom knocked on my door saying, "your Okinawa is on TV." It was a documentary called Modern Marvels on the Discovery Channel. The episode was about the reconstruction of the new Churaumi Aquarium. I learnt some more information about my aquarium (no-one can make me stop calling it mine!!!) But more than the info, it was the memories that got recharged. I miss Okinawa so much, it breaks my heart. When will I stop missing it this much? I do deeply regret not staying on, even though I have been enjoying M. Phil. as much as it can really be 'enjoyed.' My blog is useless. It comes off as a collection of depressive grumblings of regret. Sorry folks, won't happen again!

Rain, rain, don't go away!

2008-05-26T10:49:00.004+05:30

It's been raining heartily in Delhi for a week now and the weather has been gorgeous. Still is, actually. I am sitting without a fan spinning over my head and still getting the occasional goosebumps as the chilly winds seep into the house from open doors and windows. Its not May weather for Delhi at all, as I recall what May used to be like! Its more like March minus the chance of hailstones. The Met. Dept. had predicted heat again for this week, but today's rain has prolonged the nice weather a little more. Even though the weather is lovely and I don't really want it to change until October! I still am worried what this freakiness of nature might have in store for us. I wonder if these rains might spoil the Monsoons. I do hope not!

Go Green!

2008-05-07T16:16:00.003+05:30

I got some plants from my mausi today! (mausi = mom's sis)

I have spent an hour with my mum potting them and repotting the old ones we had. I don't remember another time when I felt so satisfied with a project. There is something about taking care of a plant like no other. With a pet like a dog or cat, u just need to love, feed, walk and vaccinate them, besides the occassional grooming, and training. But a plant is so much different. One just can't water a plant and think, "Oh well! That's done with!" There is potting, feeding, watering, misting, light and so much more to taking care of a plant. I would say that taking care of a dog would require less of me personally than keeping a plant alive and thriving.

I have been coming up with fantastical notions of how to get some greenery around. And ever since the news headline read "Humans Have 10 More Years to Save the Earth," my grey cells have put every other thought on a hold. It was very difficult to write my research paper proposals and the last short paper for submission!

Nowadays, I am less stressed. I have only 2 long papers to give in by 15th of July, the NET on 29th of June, and that is all. Ergo, I am embarking on my green projects now. The plants look adorable right now! Photos later!

Earth Day

2008-04-22T23:40:00.004+05:30

From time to time, in my life, I suffer from a strange depression. It has nothing to do with my personal life, in the sense that it is not about me. It relates to me, yes, but on a level beyond me. I think I must start calling it my "green" depression. It occurs because I start thinking about all that is happening in this world that is destroying our beautiful planet. I cry, and cannot stop crying, because it seems to be an unresolvable problem. This depression is really severe. Not suicidal, of course. But just imagine, I can't think of anything else right now until I get this off my chest. I have a paper day after, and I need to research 3 long paper proposals, but here I am! writing this blog posting... I don't know how I finally snap out of this mood, because the issue doesn't quite dissolve, I never forget about it... I think, I console myself with hope.

Hope is the only thing perhaps that keeps me going. I HOPE that maybe gradually we will learn to nurture and cherish the environment. That we will accomplish successfully the preservation of valuable Eco-systems of the Earth. That we will preserve the beauty and goodness of nature for future generations - and preserve it not merely on film, but in actual tangible reality. I hope that issues of environmental concern will be a priority someday for most _if not all_ of Earth's population. I hope that we will wake up before irreversible damage is done.

What depresses me most is when I think of all the poor and the recently-not-so-poor percentages of people on this planet for whom a daily hand to mouth existence excuses their slight regard for the environment. When there is no full meal to be had in a day, then why must one care to not cut a tree for fuel on a cold winter day? True, that it is the moral responsibility of those like me in more fortunate circumstances to take the lead. And yet I see educated youth like me contributing to the attitude of "I-give-a-damn-about-anything-but-frivolities" that seems to be pervading DU these days. I am not wholly pessimistic, but I am not fully optimistic either. And there does exist a middle ground. It is called hope.

I wanted to plant a tree today, to complete a 101 in 1001 goal while also commemorating Earth Day. But I changed my mind and felt it would be too cliched. Instead, I have resolved to plant more that one tree on any random day in the coming future, for everyday must be Earth Day. I will attempt to grow them from seed, just so that I know how its done, when it is time for me to teach my children the same.

Fire Fire!

2008-04-20T01:01:00.003+05:30

On Thursday, 17th of April, I would have had what would have been my last ever short paper presentation of M. Phil. But, the Olympic torch came to town that day. The tight security in the Rajpath area of Delhi for the torch relay necessitated road blocks and disconnectivity through the metro. Until 11 o clock that night before, I had no clue that such a thing would happen to postpone my paper. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend to whom I was cribbing how I wasn't ready etc. And I got a call from a course-mate who lives 10 mins away. She informed me of the possible commuting upheaval. I called up my supervisor in the morning and now I have my last and final short p.p. the coming Thursday! Am so excited about getting over with them! But how lucky am I? I so needed a little more time to polish my p.p. and I had been exhausted. The Monday before I found myself walking the distance of perhap 3 kms in the 1.30 pm sun! Tuesday was similar, but less walking. I was tired and pukish and wanted to die that day! So, it was a relief actually, to postpone my paper!

But, I am not done talking about this silly torch relay hungama! What utter nonsense it was! The distance of 2.75 km was cordoned off as if a nuclear test was scheduled there. And for what? For 70 runners to carry the torch in the name of "peace" and "harmony". My mother switched the TV on for its live telecast and I was seething while watching such a stupid thing. First of all, this is a sporting event, so what were saif ali khan, sagarika ghosh, and aamir khan (You disappointed me big time aamir!) doing there? Was this a bollywood movie shooting? I am proud of Jaspal Rana (our gold-medalist shooter) for having refused to carry the torch on this same reason. Secondly, was so much security really needed for a just a gesture? For the carrying of the flame is just that - a gesture. I am proud of Kiram Bedi (the most awesome police-woman in this universe) for criticizing the barricading and not carrying the torch in a "cage". Thirdly, the Tibet issue. Everyone who gave a speech, diplomatically avoided the issue but mentioned vague terms of harmony for all and goodwill and so forth. Now, I do agree that pro-Tibet protesters could not have found a better time to strike while the China-iron is so red-hot with the Olympics round the corner. But really, why don't people stop the diplomatic bullshitting and just be forthright for once. Especially India. We don't want to spoil our already volatile relations with china. So we bow down and ignore the many Tibetan refugees in our own territory. We ignore the fact that china still claims Ladaakh and Arunachal Pradesh in the name of Tibet. We ignore that we had a war with china because of its territorial greed. I know I want the impossible, but I do hope Tibet will be free one day. And that the Indian police be more sensible when coordinating such security affairs. My sister was stuck in the traffic for over 3 hours coming back home that day and those going to Gurgoan were stuck for longer than that! It was a nightmare!

Piss-on-Juhi-Didi Day!

2008-04-11T01:58:00.003+05:30

This cute and adorable baby is our neighbour's son. His name is Aarav. "Aarav" is a hindi word which means peaceful, calm or serene. Aarav used to be what his name signified when he could not sit up by himself, and that was a few months ago. Now he can crawl faster than the speed of light and can roar louder than a sonic boom. Yesterday he happened to piss on me twice... not that I minded it very much, he is the cutest baby in town after all!
Rash summers and nappie rashes resulted in lack of diapers.. and you can figure out the rest. They say that it is a blessing to be pissed upon by a babe... if that's the case, then thank you very much! But please be benevolent on someone else next time! :)

(May 5th, 2008: I have removed the picture of Aarav. He is very sick and has been sick for quite some time now. I feel that maybe my posting a picture of him has allowed an evil eye to be cast at him! yes yes, i am superstitous about this... too bad for people who poo-pooh me on this one!! I don't care for your opinions! I just hope this lil gesture of mine may get him well again. poor babe has been admitted in the hospital! :( !!)

world water day

2008-03-22T20:41:00.003+05:30

Maybe this might gross some people out there...!! heheheh!

Today was an Indian Festival called Holi. On this day, a carnivalesque colour riot and bhang induced bacchanals take place. Ironically, today was also the World Water Day. Usually, after playing Holi, we need to take long showers to get the colours off. And people throw water - coloured or not - at each other. As kids, my cousins and I would pelt water balloons from the roof at unsuspecting passerby (an annoying tradition that still takes place)! At the hostel, we would all climb and jump into the big monstrosity of a fountain and spray water from hoses at each other! Last year David threw water balloons at me after I told him about Holi!

Basically, Holi means the opposite of water conservation!

This year, my family didn't play Holi as it is usually played; and therefore, we were not seeped in colour. So, none of us took showers! And since the housecleaning lady had a holiday, two full buckets of water for mopping the house was saved. Can you imagine how much water was spared from four people not taking a shower? Even though it was not exactly premeditated, yet is was a bit like Earth Hour... our little contribution in easing the water crisis!

"F---, those imperialists!" ??

2008-03-19T22:40:00.004+05:30

today, I went to the arts fac to pick up some readings. and I saw some students protesting about the Tibet issue at the Vivekananda statue where every other day there is a protest march / something or the other...

I bumped into a communist friend of mine later that day... I happened to mildly taunt him (to my utter mistake!) "How can you be a communist when Chin..." and I was interrupted with a shouting string of words that were inappropriate, to put it mildly... Never expected such language coming out of the mouth it was coming from! I was, to say the least, taken aback. didn't know what to say. and wished I could rewind time. Then followed what on his side was a heated debate, while I mildly (and somewhat scared to say anything) interjected with calm observations for him to heatedly and passionately debunk. I 'think' I am 'glad' to 'lose' in this 'confab'. (can you see my confusion?)

He made some good points and I wish he didn't think he needed to be so angry and vehement. I would have gladly appreciated his novel views. Especially because I don't trust the media or the newspapers. So it is interesting to get a view that is not the commonly accepted opinion that has been generated by the Media.

He argued against Tibet for these reasons: (May I stress here I DO NOT agree with him, am merely stating his views!! )

Tibet was never an independent state in the first place that China forcefully occupied. the freedom movement is a development which happened in response to the Chinese revolution.
Tibet once freed will be a theocratic, feudalistic state - which is bad since it is a retrogression. and a return to the middle ages.
He called Dalai Lama names (which I was horrified to hear!) and said that he(Dalai Lama) is a mere figurehead of American neo-imperialist capitalist propaganda.
This fight for independence is funded by America whose sole purpose is to have a strategically placed military base in Tibet.

Now, I only pointed to him that Dalai Lama does not wish for Tibet to be an autonomous state. and if the people of Tibet want independence, then they should get it. Why is China so adamant to keep Tibet? Secondly, what is so wrong in a theocratic state? "Live and let live" has been my motto, and I abide by it. I am not a very religious person, but I admire those who follow their religion for themselves and not shove it in other people's faces. And I don't think Tibet is doing that. On the other hand China must realise that suppression of this sort cannot be tolerated. Ben recently visited Tibet and what he told me shocked me. I will not repeat it here, but lets just say it wasn't all flattering for Tibet. And yet, I feel like the Chinese policy in essence is wrong.

But whatever it may be, I hope I will not bump into this friend soon. I am not ready for the string of curses again!!!

two JUs and a ben

2008-03-06T21:03:00.004+05:30

So... brace yourself, this is gonna be a long one!

I think Ben amd Julliette came on Tuesday ... I don't remember exactly as I am vague with dates before a paper. Ben called me at about noon-ish. I was still asleep, I probably fell asleep at some unearthly hour in the morning, so I spoke groggily I guess, but was so happy to hear his voice at the other end! I couldnt meet them the same day, what with my paper presentation on Hogarth coming up that friday... I wish I had nothing, then I would have bunked and gone to Jaipur with them! But no, so they went on ahead and I got over with my presentation.

That Friday, the class got over quite late. I wanted to be home soon so I could clean up and prepare for their arrival. The guest night at my old hostel was also that friday. I wish the guest night was another day, so I could have gone to it! It went quite well I hear, everyone had a lot of fun. I decided it was unfair on my mom... so came back home like a good daughter. I was under the impression that they would come to Delhi on Saturday, but appearently they took a bus back and came back that same Friday. It was good I didn't spontaneously decide to go to the hostel instead of coming home. Ben called when I was in the Metro. was near Dwarka, so couldn't go back to pick them up. I gave Ben directions and told them I would receive them at my station. till then I ran and got food supplies and cleaned up the house a bit!

As I marched to the station to receive them, a metro approached and I just instinctly knew that they were in it. I stood at the exit and saw everyone from the train trickle past me. I felt my instincts may have deceived me, but then there they were - two very obvious foreigners with huge backpacks coming down last! after bearhugs, we came home with slight arguments with the rickshaw-wala. we had dinner in dim light, coz I had accidently blown a fuse with my table lamp and we had thought it was a power cut! (oops!!)

The next day we headed out on a sightseeing tour of Delhi. I hired a taxi coz I still don't have a drivers licenseand a car! Anyhow, after driving past Rashtrapati Bhawan, or the President's House, we stopped at India Gate. It is such a stark remenant of Indai's colonial past, yet it is dedicated to the 'amar jawan' - the immortal soldier. Of course there we encountered numerous beggars, peddlers trying to sell us useless articles, and people excited to see foreigners, wanting to click pictures with them... very annoying in my opinion. Ben poking us Ju's was infinitely better than having that constant pestering from that JUnta :) !!

After India Gate, we headed to Purana Quila or Old Fort. Ben spun Juliette around much to the ashtonishment to passerbys. And he climbed a tree seaching for a squirrel for her (these two are so cute!) I in the meanwhile was an extremely bad guide. I didn't know my history or what it was I was showing! Will def. read up for the next bunch of visitors. and I also kept talking to a travel agent to organize a trip to Khajuraho. While talking and walking about I accidently led them to a place were about 3-4 couples were 'making out' the Indian way. When I realized after 10 mins of talking loudly in that place disturbing the couples' privacy, I was so embarrassed! Mortified of having led B&J there! :p

After Purana Quila, we then headed over to Lotus Temple, which is probably one of my favourite spots in Delhi. Only there can one sit in peace and quiet for a moment. It is the Bahai temple of worship. It reminds one of the Sidney Opera House, but it is the shape of a lotus flower. Inside, the benches are marble topped! It is cool inside and on a summer day, the best place on earth to be! After all that peace it is ironic what happened next! While trying to get out of the stuffed parking lot, I blew my cool as there was absolute chaos! Cars were parked blocking other cars, and the parking attendants did nothing to help. When they finally stopped the flow of traffic into the overflowing place, some moron drove the car on the wrong side, blocking our way to go! Gah! there is no respect for a system in this country!!! I was more angry as we still need to see Qutub Minar and stop at the travel agents office. I shouted at people and Ben was surprised to see that side of me! We rushed to the travel agent's posh office in saket after Lotus temple, where we bought the tickets for Khajuraho.

After that we went to Qutub Minar. I really like it there too. The ruins are remarkable.

We went to Dili Haat next, where we ate chaat and shopped. As we were leaving, a girl came up to us and I told her in hindi slang to scat. The word can be pronounced to mean 'to burst' and she started cracking up saying that I am not a coconut that I can burst and so forth. she was quite cute actually and I ended up buying her an ice-cream to the girls extreme delight. But a woman with a babe came begging and I just got mad! You help one, and they all come crowding as if you are a money bag with all this dirty cash sprouting from under your armpits that you must rid yourself off and give to them instead. I don't have disposable income! In fact, I don't have any income at all! Sometimes you just have to make your heart into stone. I refused her and kept feeling guilty most of the way home! (Ahh! I still do!)
The next day (Sunday), Juliette went to Agra early in the morning. And I and Ben had a lazy day. We talked and then got ready in the late afternoon and I took him to Khan Market. After a round of Khan Chacha's kebab and paneer rolls, we decided to chill at a cafe. I thought Baristas, but then we ended up at Choko La. Mmmmm. I love that place! Its expensive for India, but its so neat (and very non-Indian). We ordered the first and the last item in the menu and something from in-between! I wanted to show Ben my university, but then it was a Sunday, and it was dark. So, we went back home. Juliette had already returned and she was not feeling well. She had a rough day, and the next day we had to go to Khajuraho!

We caught the Rajdhani train to Jhansi from New Delhi Railway Station. It was a coach train and we were well served. It was quite nice. They brought water, tea/coffee and breakfast! I didn't know we would get all that, and my mom had packed food for us. From Jhansi we went to Khajuraho via a place called Orrccha. I honestly had not heard of it, nor was inclined to go there. But we had time and the travel agent put it in our itenary... It was hot and I was sleepy. Juliette wasnt well and she sat down in a cool restaurant, while Ben and I went with the guide who for some reason would only describe things in the sunshine! why oh why could he not talk to us in the shade? Anyhow. It wasn't a very great place and we weren't very enthusiastic either!

When we reached the hotel in Khajuraho, we all did a mental doubletake. The place was quite posh. I wasn't prepared for being taken to a hotel with fountains and a swimming pool - ahem! a CLEAN swimming pool! Our room was nice. We settled down and after a while decided to look about the hotel. Juliette rested in the room. Ben and I ended up watching a very random pupet show. it was quite funny! We then also went to see a Sound and Light show at the Western group of Temples. It was a steal! I am too cynical I guess... the 'historical' info was good to get, but overall it was too much money for an hour of boredom. ...and some enthusiast kept taking pics with a blinding flash! Use night-vision, moron!!! Ben and I made fun of the show and I think we offended some people who overheard us!

The next day (Tuesday), after a nice buffet breakfast at the hotel, we headed over to sightsee. boy o boy I was excited! I had wanted to see Khajuraho ever since! Khajuraho is famous for its ancient Indian temples and the erotic sandstone scupltures on the temple walls. They are replete with sculptures of sexual postures that are described in the Kamasutra. But they are not meant to be pornographic, even though it seems to be the case. The sexual union of a couple symbolizes a greater more divine aspect of attaining union with the divine. Esctasy of the flesh is equivalent to esctasy of salvation.

We went to the western temples first. Juliette -poor soul - was too sick to enjoy. She mostly sat while the guide took Ben and I around. The guide was god enough. He did seem to have a naughty side to him. When decribing some of the erotic scupltures he would sort of snigger. I kept a very stone face coz he would at times point to certain things... He sort of challenged me to enter into his naughty little joke, which I thought unappropriate! We bumped into an indian expatriate couple whose guide was excessively friendly and jolly. I wish he were our guide instead! He had a flair with what he was describing, and nothing naughty about him.

We went to the Eastern group via the hotel where we dropped Juliette off. It was much better for her to sit in the cool lobby rather that the hot open air or stuffy car while we looked about. The eastern group were less impressive. They also occupied a smaller area than the previous group. The effects of time were, however, more visible on them. They are Jaina temples, and one is still functional. The temples had sustained much destruction, but were renovated and the ugly new parts stand in stark contrast. There were huge mango trees in the courtyard which reminded me of the coming mango season!! yummm! too bad B&J would leave before mangoes flood the market.

We returned to the hotel and found Juliette reading God of Small Things by the carom table. I showed them how to paly and we proceeded to play carom while I explained some Indian references in the book to Juliette. Ironically, I lost to both B&J! Coz my striker kept going into the hole and I had to forfeit my points!

We lunched at an Italian place, ate fettuccine! and then headed back to Jhansi to catch the train back to Delhi. When we reached Jhansi in the evening, we found out that our ticket was schedule for the next day! The agent who recieved us told me to give some money to him while he got us tickets and we could go eat dinner. Our appetite (if any) vanished and I didn't feel good about just giving money like that! I called up dad and discussed what to do. B&J had a flight the next night so it was important for us to leave the same night! We then went over to the railway station and while Ben and Juliette stayed in the waiting area, I went with the dude to see what could be done. We got general tickets and then went ot speak with the TC of the train if we could get berths. After much tension, we got seats and came to Delhi the next morning somehow! at the station in Delhi, the auto-rickshaw guys mobbed us. the prepaid booth was closed so I was in a fix. called up dad to ask what shud the cost be around so I could negotiate. (Thank God Dad was in Delhi!) One man said 250 rupees to dwarka! But then the booth opened and we went there. A guy said to me, "Madam, don't get a slip, give me 200 rupees, I will take you." When I got a slip, I paid only 145 rupees!!

The auto guy that took us stopped at a gas station as soon as we were on the way. He was rude and I was perturbed. Why couldn't he have filled it beforehand? The thing is, you have to get out of the scooter when its being filled, and I had opened a shawl and we were sitting snug as possible inside. The auto guy rudely drove away from the station and I blew my cool. I told him to stop the scooter immediately and let me what the F was his problem. He then became sweet as sugar and we reached home without any gas running out on us! He was just being a bastard, he had enough gas!After catching up some sleep that morning, we got ready and went to get the plane tickets. It was taking time, and they couldn't accept a debit card, so we went to CP in search of the bank. the ATM was not giving cash, and the bank wasnt helpful. In the meantime the travel agency calls to say that the airline gave away one of the tickets! But we got the next day's and I asked them to issue it before it was given away too! Thankfully, without an advance, they issued it on trust... But the money, there was still none to pay for the ticket yet! so we decided to head back home and use the internet to call the customer service. we tried calling the 'toll-free' number from my cellphone and ended up with an international call that took forever! but before we returned home, we stopped over at the Oxford Bookstore. and also to Nirula's where Ben bought the ice-cream he lost to me in a bet! on the way to Jhansi to Khajuraho we had this bet. Ben would not agree when I said that the capital of Guatemala is Guatemala City. He thought I was confusing it with Panama. I was myself unsure at first, but then I knew I was right, so I bet him! And won! hahahah! will gloat about it forever...

Juliette was feeling much better that day, and she was finally eating food! so it was a good day! we returned home, Ben spoke to his customer service executive in Bangalore and it was all good! We slept early and next day tried to get money. It worked and Ben got out some, but then it stopped! we went in search for an internet cafe. it seemed like innumerable hurdles had to be crossed! the 1st cafe didnt have headphones.. the 2nd cafe didnt have skype. they downloaded it and the electricity went. the comp ben was using had no backup. so we shifted to Juliette's who took another comp. and we waited for skype to download all over again! but finally ben spoke to a scottish lady who fixed the prob. we got the money, bought the ticket and heaved a sigh of relief!

After that, a round of shopping at Palika Bazaar, Janpath and off to Sarvana for some good South Indian food and the Game. Oh shit! I just lost it! For those who don't know the Game, you are so much better off!

We came back home, with an half an hour for last minute packing before B & J left. We hired a car to drop them off at the airport. I chose not to go, since it was dark and I'd return alone. And this way I wouldn't start crying! An ambassador car came to take them. I was glad, coz it is such an Indian car!

Those six days passed by so quickly! When I came back to my apartment, after having waved them off downstairs, I felt like there was a baby gap. The study, emptied of the backpacks looked strangely deserted. and I longed for Ben's company and conversation. It took me a week back to get into M. Phil mode. and I can finally rest in peace now that I have written this blog overcoming my nostalgia! :)

vanilla skies?

2008-02-19T01:16:00.001+05:30

this is as pretty the sky can get in delhi....

(taken on the 16th of Feb, Isa's Birth Day)

frensip? gimme a break!

2008-02-14T23:04:00.007+05:30

you know that cliched question.... why me?
well, I am asking it.
why?
becauseof this:
Day before yesterday I get a call from an unknown number. I missed it. Well, too bad. If it was important they would call again.
Yesterday, I get another call from that same number. I pick up and the caller hangs up. Ehhum..?
Today, I get two missed calls just before I leave for the University to go give my presentation. Now I'm beginning to feel a little worried and a little pissed. Curiousity would kill me, I needed to know what it was about so that I could have a fresh mind before I go do my paper. I call up the number and there's a guy with a bad English accent who tells me his name. And I go, so? He then says that he wishes 'to have frensip with me'
... ugh yuck gross creep blakh shiver ugh-again yuck-again!!
Of course I hung up the phone. I got 3 more missed calls during my presentation. that's why I ask... why me? weird callers who I don't know on Valentine's Day! What is up with the world? I didn't ask for this! just gimme a break, God! And keep the frensips away! thank you.

simple joys

2008-02-06T18:06:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was such a great day. I didn't really accomplish much in terms of goals or work load. But I had a good break hanging out with friends. I was late in reaching to the university as I always am!! I can't seem to open my eyes before 9-10 o'clock these days. Plus, my quilt is all warm when compared to no-quilt! Anyhow, I reached by lunch time did come stuff I had to do, and went to pick up some readings from Crystal (a photocopy shop). Couldn't get all that I needed so had to go to the hostel to get it from a friend, Aditi. She and Ayushma were in the Faculty, so we left together. We made a quick stop at Rocky Juice corner, and then to the hostel. There, Ayushma got some Belgian dark chocolate, the high of which lasted till this morning! I was cheerful and jumpy the whole evening!

We had so much fun; it would be interrupted only by my friend’s entreaties to me to come back to the hostel again. I so wish I could. We all have fun and study and live it to the fullest out there! Just the other day I had another fight with my mom. I was telling her how I had to wake up early for breakfast in the hostel; otherwise I would be hungry till lunch. Once up, it was difficult to go back to sleep. The day would start nice and early. And even if I got up late occasionally, I didn't need to worry about reaching the univ. late, coz it is a 20 minute rickshaw ride away. While living here I have to travel more than 1 and 1/2 hours to reach the univ. So unless I wake up at 6 or 7, it difficult to reach early. It was just me being a little grumpy, but of course I forget that something called communication gap exists! Mom turned it into some far worse than my sentiments were! There should be some law restraining parents from keeping kids home once they turn 21!!

So.... it was good to meet with friends, talk, laugh, giggle, chat and complain without having it turning into quarrels! I didn't want to leave, and aditi would have stopped me from returning. but I had to pick up stuff from my uncle's office and take it home. I left and on the metro I was cheerful even though I was re-reading a rather gruesomely sad part of Wuthering Heights, and even though the metro was smelling urinary! (Thank god it was only for part of the way! My mood might not have remained as cheerful otherwise!)

I guess it was the combination of great company and good chocolate that kept me happy regardless of the muck and cold winds!

Kusudama

2008-02-04T16:34:00.000+05:30

I made a Kusudama last week. It wasn't easy. I didn't want to end up wasting paper, so I practiced with newspaper first, and predictablly screwed it up! I quickly realised what I was doing wrong, so I started with the nice paper. It took about 6-7 hours to make.

And the suru is for Heath Ledger...

coming soon...

2008-01-29T16:32:00.000+05:30

The new semester has started. My courses for the next 5 months or so will be

The Visual and the Verbal: Theory and Representation in Art and Literature
The Construction of Social Space in the Nineteenth Century English Novel

Both are very interesting courses, so I am excited about them. There were so many courses to choose from this time, it was quite difficult even though I had my eyes set on these two from a long time! I had to chose wisely, especially since these will be my last two courses. After this semester, I shall have to work on my Individually Supervised Essay. More about that when the time comes for it.

For now, I shall be working on Leonardo's Notebooks for the first course, and Hogarth's Prints for the other. I have to present one more short paper for the Visual and Verbal, will decide on what later.

I havent really done anything exciting recently. My life was put on hold until my long papers were done. This time I really tried to finish them before the deadlines and it was a huge pain.... Anyhow am not going to talk of it online! lets just say, that they, and winters have had a chilling effect on everything around me. A few days back, I was very sad. The winters always do that, but this time I really felt I had nothing to look forward to. Seems like I hardly have a life worth living, what with living at home, doing M.Phil. and no boyfriend... And its just so bloody cold to do anything on my own - anything simple and easy like take a walk outside!

I know all those living in below freezing zones are telling me to shut the f- up! But one must consider that the way you feel at -5 deg cel. is how I feel at 5 deg cel. So delhi at 2 deg cel. is really cold for me! BBC predits 0 deg cel. for Delhi on Friday. Its really cold for the kind of climate and infrastructure we have. We dont have central heating! And heating blower dont really work! I can wear ten thousand layers but if I am cold from the inside, they dont help. I wish I could run to the tropics. But darn M. Phil. has to be done! It just gets me down.

I wished I could just leave everything and stop existing. But as I was coming back from the univ. that day, I saw that the sky was blue. and as the sun was setting, it had set the clouds ablaze with different fiery colours. The last time I had seen the sky like this was in Okinawa. and before that in Delhi, when we lived in the clean North Campus, in the middle of green Delhi Ridge, the happiest time of my life in Delhi. (Yes, I don't like Delhi very much. Those who have been here might know why... )

Anyhow. That day, I felt if the sky could be this clear and beautiful in Delhi, then surely not all goodness is dead and that there is still hope left. Soon spring will arrive. flowers will blosom. and I will be warm and happy again. till then I shall put my life and all the fun times on hold.

busy day

2008-01-15T22:47:00.001+05:30

What a day it was today! Exhausting, strenuous and eventful:

I was involved in an argument I didn't want to be involved in.
I saw a book written by my father as the object of a guy's photocopying desire.
I was given unconscious complements about my age by 2 different people in separate circumstances.
I shouted at people in the Metro like never before.
I climbed 32 flights of stairs up and down.
I was in an out of the metro stations 5 times (as opposed to a usual of 2).
I signed my name on an important document over 50 times.
I made and recieved calls more times in one day than I do in a week.
I twisted my foot badly while descending stairs.

Beni-imo Matsuri!!

2008-01-04T17:04:00.000+05:30

Today my friend Sawako, and her two friends Masumi and Chisato, left. They came from Okinawa to visit India in the winter vacations. Due to my exam, I wasn't able to accompany them on their trips to Varanasi, Agra, and Rajasthan. Nor could I show them around Delhi because the day set apart for Delhi sightseeing was 3 days before the exam! So I was quite a bad host in a way! But I would hope, I still helped them have as good a trip as was possible in the short duration of 10 days.

They brought Okinawan treats for me and my family... Beni-imo goodies!!!

Awamori-tinged chocolate Shiisa anyone?

Ah! It's impossible to believe its been barely five months since my return! I miss Oki!!

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T23:29:00.000+05:30

Heylows!

The New Year has kicked in with a serious stomach upset! I think I might be heading towards what has been described by Chiye as the Worst Diet Ever!! But anyhow.... updates:

UGC NET went disastrously. It is the world's biggest sham! Worse than my scooter license test! At least there I could pass after willfully failing it! This thing... God only knows how to get it out of the way! The Exam consists of three papers. The first paper is general for all and includes questions on logical reasoning, research methodology, comprehension passages etc. Easy if you have normal brains.... unless brought face to face with a question like:

What should logically follow in this series : 4, 16, 36, 64, ?
a) 300 b) 200 c) 100 d) 150

If you answered c) you are wrong. At least according to UGC who give this in their syllabus as an example test question. They say its a). I don't know how, maybe someone can explain to me?

Then, there is paper 2. 50 Multiple choice questions from the history of English Literature. Could be any random question, from any random book. Which novel by Graham Greene has a little girl character, Brigitta?

Honestly, it felt like I knew nothing when question after question, I couldn't be sure of the answers! Gave me the inferiority complex of a lifetime... what am I studying English Literature for if I can't answer 50 multiple choice questions with absolute certainty!!!

Paper 3 was still better... its subjective type questions on English Literature. I could answer those fine enough! But whats the use? If you can't clear Paper 1 and 2, the 3rd one isn't even checked!!

I am so disillusioned with the whole thing! And this is the test when one clears it, one is qualified to teach at college level! Disgraceful! It makes no sense whatsoever. Having the NET cannot make anyone a good teacher, but you can't teach if you don't have it! Ugh! its so frustrating!! This was my 4th attempt, and I shall give it once more in June, and if it doesn't happen, then I wont even bother with it anymore! My Dad and Mom can say whatever they like. I don't care. I worked so hard this time, but what's the use? They expect the impossible! It used to be mandatory a year ago, and now that it's not, people say its become more difficult. That's true enough, the 1st time I ever gave it, I remember it being much easier. We could remember the questions of Paper 2 and even the options when discussing it with each other, but this time, I could bare recall five, they were so obscure!

My parents picked me up after the exam as we had to go see Babaji (my grandfather). He just had an operation. He's doing fine, so no worries. He is diabetic and its a problematic thing to be when one is old...

My parents had to meet some people, so my sis and I went to a mall nearby while they met up. It is like a different world altogether. Enter a mall in Delhi and it is very hard to believe you are in Delhi. This one was in Noida, called the Great India Place. These malls have everything under the sun, and more. You name it, they have it here. Its quite overwhelming... And it reaffirms my belief that we are living in very interesting times, and in developing economies like ours, the markets can swing our culture either way - to great heights or plummeting dumps.

Photos follow later!

latest

2007-12-07T23:40:00.000+05:30

haircut...
yes, my long tresses (???) are gone. I am back to looking the way I did two year ago (well, almost!). I cut my hair really short so that I could donate them for kids with cancer. I still have them, will post them off as soon as I get time for a breather!

Gosh, I am swamped with work. Have a short paper due to be presented on Friday, 14 December (Gah! only a week and no work done!) And then I have another due Tuesday, 18 December. Also, the UGC NET has thankfully been re-scheduled from 16 Dec to 30 Dec. Otherwise I'd have been severely screwed! It is crucial that I clear the NET this time, or else my dad will disown me, or I shall run away from home under the parental pressure! How come I haven't done so yet is a mystery that a team of Poirot, Holmes, Miss Maple et al cannot solve!

What else do I have to tell you?? mmmm..... ah yes. I went to this amazing place call Choko La at Khan Market with my friends a few days back, when poro was here. It was steep for our poor student wallets, but we managed! We ordered the Greek salad, a type of hot cocoa I don't remember the name of, and the most delightful choco-fondue platter. It was the best! Fruits and other goodie with hot chocolate sauce. the cupcake simply disappeared in one's mouth, and we all were making orgasmic sounds much to the embarrassment of the uncle sitting nearby! (hahahah!) Isa felt overdosed with chocolate, but I was only left hungry for more, and ever since have been dreaming of going back there!

And today was my parent's 31st anniversary. We went out to eat pizza. (O Yes, I did think of making them take me n di to Choko La, but it was too far and three of us came back home after 8pm! So, it wasn't possible to go there without dying of hunger!)

I am sure I have more news, but I cannot remember at this moment for the life of me! so, *yawn* shall retreat into me shell for the night....

until later..... bye

swastika

2007-12-02T17:59:00.001+05:30

This is one of the many broken old tables from the Central Reference Library, now kept on the roof housing a small canteen. This canteen exists to cater to the hungry research scholars who spend countless hours in the library underneath.

But, isn't the resemblance to the swastika uncanny and eerie?

Where in the world is JR?

2007-12-02T17:45:00.000+05:30

hello, my dear friends! I am back, out from my little shell... sorry have been gone so long... did u miss me? :) well, many reasons why I retreated into silence...

I was really sick, having eating loads of tamarind one night, my throat was jammed next morning. And then my illness kept mutating or something... ended up with a flu like never before. Maybe its also my low immune system since coming from the clean environs of Okinawa.
I had absolutely nothing to say. Its true! It seemed like my life was so boring that I had nothing to say. (Actually, it didn't seem so, it was so!)
Poro, my more-than-soul-sister-Friend came for a short stay. The days went by so fast. Spending time with her meant that I never felt the need to sit and write on ze blog.
Deadline. to submit my long paper proposal. Which has been approved without much trouble (Yippee!) I went mad thinking of some new and original topic from the contemporary Indian Art scene and English writing of modern India.
I honestly had nothing to say! (Wait I have said that before!)

Diwali

2007-11-09T22:38:00.000+05:30

Shopping

2007-11-05T12:43:00.000+05:30

Diwali is coming up in a few days, so I went shopping with my mom, sis and Masi (mum's sister). We bought lots of candles and wax diye; Diwali gift packs to give to friends and family; I got rangoli colours - have decided I shall make a rangoli outside home. I forgot to get any firecrackers - but that's good because I want to do my little part against child labour. We still have to get earthen-ware diye, will get them on Wednesday. And we are all set to celebrate Diwali.

Shopping in Delhi is an interesting affair. Of course you enter the market after breaking free from a traffic jam. There is absolutely no space on the roads, because the shopkeepers have extended their tables and ware much beyond the limits of the sidewalk (if one exists in the first place!) and busy shoppers throng the market areas blocking whatever road remained!! Then vehicles keep whizzing by much to the danger of the shoppers. They sometimes honk a warning and it adds to the already existing cacophony of shop owners yelling to their staff, the staff yelling to the customers, the customers yelling to their kids, and the kids yelling just because.

Thank God for aspirin! :)

Then the items on Display. One couldn't find the worst possible colour combinations and cheap plastic ornaments in this world elsewhere. The usual flies and bees get attracted by the dry fruits and nuts placed out in the open. The candles were mainly eyesoringly bright coloured, of the most ugly designs and the Aroma candles choked the very life-breath out of one! The shop, from where I got rangoli colour, was selling a sticker rangoli - a big sticker that you stick on the floor! It was disturbingly ugly and my mom even dared risking my fury to ask me if I wanted to get it!! From all this it was interesting to dig out the nice stuff - which existed nonetheless!

Ah! what a sight it is! And I haven't even visited the big malls and shopping centers yet! God only knows what they must be like! For now, thanks to my well known hate for 'going shopping', I shall be spared the torture of the Malls and will be extremely satisfied with the local market nearby!

Quarter Century!!

2007-11-02T01:39:00.000+05:30

Gaahh! I am old! Panic! Distress! Trauma! The Horror, the Horror!

Dramatics aside! IT wasn't too bad. Of course the real celebration will come when Poro's in town. But, for now, I was satisfied with a trip to the Oxford Bookshop and ordering pizzas for dinner!

Didn't do anything extraordinaire... Didn't have to cut a cake ...and no birthday presents!!! :) so in all it was normal, just the way I would want my birthday to be! (no sarcasm, seriously! (HONESTLY! I mean it without irony - I think you still don't believe me!))

In the night, at 12, I got a call from my girls - Paroma and Isa. then slept reading 'The Great Indian Novel'. In the morning, I woke up coz of many phone calls and wishes. showered with cold water coz the water tanks were being cleaned. couldn't decide what to wear so wore un-ironed clothes. was late in leaving home. went to class. met Aditi at the Dept. then a trip to CP n Oxford with Anuja. Got Di's examination card for JLPT from New Delhi House and came back home. ordered pizza and checked emails etc. then slept. nothing special.

Just bought myself two books - Shantaram and The New Life. I really wanted Snow, but it wasnt available. I have wanted to read Shantaram for some time now. And I ordered The Trotter Nama. Will get it in a few days. I also finally got the membership for Oxford Bookshop, so I can get points each time I buy a book and then redeem them later. Everytime I went there, it so happened, a sale would be on, and they don't let you become a member during a sale.

When I checked all the facebook wishes, it was soo.... how shall I put it... eye-opening? ...nice, flattering! Thank you all! It was those many msgs that made the day special! :)

Laika

2007-11-01T01:00:00.000+05:30

I read a newspaper article about the space dog Laika today. About her tragic fate. while reading I started crying. She was a stray, picked up from the streets and chosen among three dogs to become one of (if not THE most) famous dogs ever in human history. And even though she became special, she still died - the proverbial - dog's death! "Terrified by the roar and the vibration of the engines, the dog lurched desperately to free itself [perhaps from the chains that held her in place] as the rocket took altitude, its heart racing at three times normal speed." (TOI) What makes it all the more indignant is how this little mutt was the center of a political game. In a race to hurl insults at America, USSR may have paved the way to space travel but at the cost of a dog's life!

I vividly remember when I first heard about Laika. I was a little girl and we lived in our joint family house then. It was late at night, all had gone to bed, but my sister was still studying and I as usual was pestering her and asking what she was reading. And then Di told me that she was reading about a dog. She then read me the story and I remember asking her why did they send Laika in space if they couldn't bring her back! I remember wanting to pet and hug the poor creature. I remember trying to remember her name.

I never forgot the name. But I had forgotten the story.

Pardons

2007-10-29T22:38:00.000+05:30

for the previous post. For those (perhaps most of you) who don't listen to heavy metal, it was the lyrics to Seplutura's 'Straighthate'... just seemed apt for how I felt at that time! I didn't get to go see Sepul perform, thanks to Mom's Law:

Thou shalt not go to Rock Concerts late at night all by thyself!

So there goes my highlight for the year since coming back to Delhi! And there are 4 days till my quarter century. That should be a blast! hahaha. *dry sacrastic laughter*

Apart from all this cribbing... (I should rename my blog "The Cribbing Chronicles") I have nothing to say.

so I shall post a pic that has no reason whatsoever to be here....